Rebooting Life
by WerewolfAlpha
Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying. T for now, might get violent soon.
1. Chapter 1

**Yo, sorry about starting a new fanfic when I have two running already, but I had the greatest idea when reading other works, and I can't get it out of my head, so it's going on here. Hope you like it!**

 **0^0**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: Rowling has ownership of HP, and she had better give it back soon, or I'll sue!**

 **…** **Wait, scratch that, I don't own, no lawsuits please! Also, I'm not Shonen Jump, so, yeah.**

Harry Potter stood, facing the man that had been his tormentor for the best part of his life, and gave up.

How could he win? How could he defeat this monstrosity that had killed hundreds of experienced wizards and witches with a meagre flick of his wand? How would he do what no man could ever do and defeat the holder of the Elder Wand? Voldemort had all the power in the world, and Harry was nothing more than an insect to him. Maybe his death would serve a purpose? He had no idea, but he knew that there was no way he could win now.

Harry clutched the stone of resurrection in one hand, and gripped his father's cloak in the other. He couldn't bear the thought of Voldemort getting it, but it seemed that that was how things were going to turn out.

Harry glared at Voldemort, gave a nod to the silenced half-giant who had made his life worth living, and accepted his fate.

-penguin-

Voldemort smirked as he looked at his enemy, the boy was unarmed in the middle of a death eater gathering, what reckless foolery. Well, it seemed as though the boy was finally going to die. It seemed fitting to give the boy an end that befitted the enemy of Voldemort, and really, he wasn't going to take the chance that the boy had lost his mysterious resistance to _Avada Kedavra_ after all. He drew upon the knowledge he had stolen from his death eaters and found a spell that would truly end the boy. He gave a long hiss, and spoke the incantation that would change the fate of two worlds forever.

 ** _"_** ** _Tantibus Hastam!"_** A beam of pure darkness erupted from the end of his wand. It coalesced into a long spear that shifted and turned as if it was made of pure darkness. Hefting it over his shoulder, he gave a fierce cry and launched it into the body of the-boy-who-lived. It sunk deep into the boy's heart, only the end of the Elder wand showing. He grinned, and as the boy collapsed onto the ground and closed his eyes for the last time, he laughed, a cruel, sickening thing that wound its way into the hearts of his followers and filled them with fear.

Then, the spell worked its final magic, creating a pit of darkness that swallowed up the corpse, and left nothing left. As the darkness disappeared, Tom Marvolo Riddle stopped smirking, and got a furious look in his eye. His Wand! The instrument of his victory! Even in death, the boy ruined his plans. Giving a feral roar, the dark lord screamed at the heavens. "CURSE YOU POTTER!"

-lemonade-

Harry groaned, his head felt like a bludger had hit it, and he could swear that he had just been impaled, so why was his head aching? Wait, he was dead! Harry jumped and looked around. He was suspended in an empty black void, with nothing visible except a giant wall of flashing text that had _'GAME OVER'_ written in big friendly red letters.

 _…_ _Wait, What!_

As if responding to his incredulous thoughts, the text flew straight at him, stopping right in front of his nose and shrinking so that he could read it. It flickered, before changing into a colourful box with two buttons on it. There was something written on it too, yellow text that said, _'New Game?'_ Shrugging, and having no idea what was happening, he pushed the green _'Yes'_ button, hoping that whatever was happening wasn't too bad and wouldn't make him spend the rest of eternity with Myrtle in the girls' bathrooms.

The floating box disappeared, and he was jerked forwards by an invisible force at an enormous speed, coming to an abrupt stop at another glowing box, this one being far bigger, and having what looked to be people standing in a row. He could make out a blond girl in a blue and white frilly dress, a blue-haired boy with an eye-patch and cane who looked to be really short, a blond kid with hair as bad as his, with what looked to be whiskers, and an outrageous orange jumpsuit, a kid as short as the other one with what looked to be hair with three different colours and a golden pyramid around his neck, a dopey looking guy with lanky arms and legs and a straw hat on his head, a teen with a red and white hat and some kind of ball of the same colour in his hand, and a blond kid with what looked to be a metal arm and leg.

Above all of them was the writing 'Character Selection, touch to select'. Having no idea what was happening, who any of the people were, and almost convinced that this was a delusion made up by his dying mind, he closed his eyes and stuck his hand out, nudging one of the characters. With a flash of light and a painful, ripping sensation, Harry Potter faded away.

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In a shabby apartment in the red-light district of town, a young boy stirred as the morning sun filtered through the window. The boy that was once Harry Potter slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was lying on a bed in the trashiest place he had ever seen. The walls and floor were dustier than those of Grimmauld Place, and there were packets of some kind of instant noodle lying all over the place. Feeling a weight on his lap, he discovered a scroll with the words _'DON'T PANIC'_ written in the same friendly writing as in his dream, although, from the looks of things, it wasn't exactly a dream.

Reaching for the scroll, he paused as he noticed that his fingernails were unusually sharp, and they were so small, it looked as though he was a kid again. Quickly feeling the rest of his body with his midget-hand, he came to the result that he was a kid again. Probably just over ten, this was similar to what his body had looked like then. Reaching for the scroll again, he got yet another surprise, one that left him reeling and trying to keep his identity.

His mind was wracked with the thoughts and memories of a different boy, one who had grown up in a village of ninja rather than wizards and witches. He remembered being shunned by everyone, beaten and forgotten until he resorted to using pranks and obnoxious colours to get attention in any way that he could. He had friends, although few – A man and his daughter in a noodle shop, which he seemed to have adopted an addiction for, and the village leader, who was like a grandfather to him. He remembered being called demon, monster and many other things that had hurt him immensely, but he had struggled on, determined to become someone that they had to notice.

He was training to be a ninja, and while Naruto hadn't cared about his education in the slightest, the boy who was Harry felt nothing but excitement. He had always held back in his past life, at first to stop the Dursleys from making his life worse than it already had been, and then to be able to stay friends with Ron and Hermione – both of which had hated when he was smarter than them. But here, in this new world, he could be as smart as he liked! He didn't have to dumb himself down for anyone, and he didn't intend on doing as such. Speaking of which, who was he? He clearly remembered being Harry, the boy-who-lived, but he also remembered being Naruto, and he didn't really know how to differentiate. Shrugging, he put that aside and focused on the task at hand. He was whoever he wanted to be, and bugger anyone who said otherwise.

Grabbing the scroll _again,_ he finally clasped the edge and opened it up. There, to his shock, was another one of the glowing boxes, although this one was simply labelled _'Activate Gamer mode?'_ Staring, he thought it over before clicking the green button, after all, what could go wrong? He was proven to be an idiot when his whole world exploded into floating little boxes that obscured his sight of the apartment. Not knowing what to do, he flailed in place for a bit before pushing at the _'info'_ box, hoping to get some answers.

What he got wasn't nearly as helpful, as a large screen of text appeared in front of him, blocking everything else out in its hugeness.

 _'_ _Welcome and thank you for using the Gamer v1.2.5! We here in the gap between worlds advise you not to panic, and to follow our easy instructions to have an enjoyable gaming experience. Firstly, an introduction. The Gamer is a system which lets the user go through life as if it is a game. His means Skill points, perks, titles and everything else that you'd find in a good RPG. Some of the more necessary functions are the menu screens. To activate them, simply think or voice which one you would like to view. There are 5 main screens that the average beginner should be worried about; Inventory, Character Info, Reputation, Skills and Quests._

 _Inventory is a void space in which the player can store various items, and rewards for quests will appear here also. It is also a screen that freezes time while open, so be prepared or that. Objects stored will be kept in suspended animation until retrieval, and can be stored indefinitely._

 _Character Information is simply that, your information. It shows your Skill points – a representation of your physical and mental aptitude, your titles – which are skill-boosting names you can receive from unlocking different criteria, that NPC's (Non Player Characters, or other people) may use to talk about you when active. You may have 3 equipped at any time. Perks are also shown, passive abilities that are acquired from displaying certain traits, or from having things about you that impact your life. These can be earned and taken away whenever you meet requirements, but there are also negative perks, which you get for having achieving bad criteria, and can only be removed via hard work and training yourself to not meet the criteria._

 _Reputation, is a measure of how much you are liked or disliked by both groups of people, and individuals. Negative reputation means you are disliked or hated by those people, and they will normally treat you unfairly, and charge you more at shops. Positive reputation will mean that you are liked, or even loved, and you will often get favours done for you or lower prices from people in this range._

 _Skills are just that, abilities and skills that you possess that can be levelled up and made stronger. These skills can range from everyday tasks like cleaning or looking at people, to complex abilities like magic or Jutsu. They are made better by constant use and/or skill books, which are simply books that have information on how to perform your ability better, and are found almost everywhere._

 _Quests are tasks given to you by either NPC's or by doing things. They often have rewards that you can use to enhance yourself, and bonus quests, or side quests branching off of a main one, will only increase your reward. These quests are advised to be taken, as they can be very advantageous._

 _There are other screens that will appear throughout your gameplay, but they're use is not necessary to obtain the full game experience. For now, relax, and enjoy the game._

Harry, (or was it Naruto now?) frowned. Well, that had explained what these boxes were about, but he had never played one of these games, and all he knew was that Dudley had been very bad at them. Hoping to get some further insight, he said a word aloud, "Character Info"

Immediately, he was swamped with information, and it seemed that he wouldn't be getting a break anytime soon.

 **Name: Naruto Potter-Uzumaki**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 8 EXP: 100/880**

 **Health: 3300/3300 (+100 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 5750/5750 (+500 per 5 min regen)**

 **Magic: 500/500 (+ 100 per 1 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR/Strength** ** _(A measure of your physical strength. Influences physical attacks and health, and how much of a beating you can deal out)_** **: 5 (50)**

 **STA/Stamina** ** _(A measure of how long you can keep going. Influences your Health and Chakra levels, as well as health and chakra regen, and the rate of tiring)_** **: 75 (50)**

 **SPD/Speed _(A measure of reflexes and speed. Influences reaction times, movement speed, accuracy and ability to run away from people)_ : 40 (0)**

 **INT/Intelligence** ** _(A measure of how well your brain works. Influences Magic and Chakra levels, and how well you do on tests)_** **: 50 (0)**

 **WIS/Wisdom** ** _(A measure of how well you use you intelligence. Influences your Magical and Chakra control, as well as regen of both)_** **: 22 (0)**

 **CHA/Charisma** ** _(A measure of how well you interact with people. Influences your reputation gain and speech)_** **: 12 (0)**

 **LUK/Luck** ** _(A measure of how lucky you are. Influences how well luck-based skills work, and the bonus for loot rewards):_** **5 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **Demon Brat: -40% Reputation gain with Konoha, -10% Reputation gain with Konoha Shinobi**

 **Perks:**

 **You're a Wizard! – You were a wizard in a previous life, and have retained your magic. Added – Magic.**

 **?: + 50 STA, + 50 STR, +1500 Base Health, +4000 Base Chakra, -10% Reputation gain with Konoha.**

 **?: +50% STA gain, +50% INT gain, +50% ? gain, +50% ? gain**

Naruto groaned, even in this new world, he couldn't catch a break. He got out of bed, and was starting to get dressed into some terrible orange clothes that he'd have to replace when a new window popped up, this one flashing brightly.

 **'** **New Quest: Get to School!'**

 **Get to school on time to stop Iruka-Sensei from getting angry!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 30 min.**

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 20 min.**

 **-Get to the academy in under 10 min.**

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 3 Skill points**

 **\- Basic Chakra control scroll**

Naruto sighed, what a _brilliant_ first day. Well, at least he'd be able to improve his poor knowledge of the world that the original Naruto had left him with. Now, where were his pants?

 **Hi everyone, hope you enjoyed it, I'm hoping to do a good job, so please review. Oh, and a shout-out to my friend, Chozo, for being awesome! See ya!**


	2. Oops, forgot the reviewers! Rewrite!

**Hiah! Thanks for reading everyone, and Kudos to whoever figured out all of the other player choices. I may write separate stories for each of them after this one is finished, but that's a long way off. Anyway, enjoy!**

 **...Oops, I forgot to respond to you guys! Sorry!**

 **hentai18ancillia: Yeah, i'm trying to make him a mix of Harrry and Naruto, but that pranking streak will always be there. And yeah, apart from Sasuke and Sakura, most of the genin in Konoha are actually nice people, so that hopefully won't be a problem.**

 **Isa: It's not _really_ an rpg or something of the sort, it's more of him being able to see things like that, and consciously figure out what his flaws are and what he needs to do to improve himself. It also clues him in on the storyline, so he won't be as clueless.**

 **Guys who were bagging slash: Well, it might not be. I haven't decided if there's going to be a pairing. I was mainly pointing out Harry's and old Naruto's questionable sexuality due to one constantly having trouble with girls, and the other constantly turning himself into a girl. If it does end up being slash, i'll try to warn you, so you'll get a heads up.**

 **Umm, the second Guest? No, wait, it's Tearstone: Heh, thanks. I was trying to go with something more realistic and original, and plus, I needed to find a way to give Harry all the Hallows. (Hint hint) By the way, the spell Voldemort used translates roughly into 'Nightmare Spear'. Anyway, thanks so much!**

 **Prince Larkin: Wow, that's such a great idea, I'll have to do an omake series on that. Thanks for the idea, that suits it perfectly!**

 **Jeffery Gerbermartin: Heh, thank you. the only reason Naruto didn't do stuff like that was because he was made stupider than Kiba, who I plan on making better. And yes, the Shadow clone Jutsu and others like it will be perfect to use for this stuff. again, Shonen Jump didn't use that potential.**

 **Everyone else, thank you, and if you can get all the references in the first chapter, I'll dedicate a chapter to the first person to get them all! HINT: not just the characters.**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J.K, and I'm Australian, not Japanese, so I don't have any claim to either franchise. If you sue, I'll kill you. But that won't happen,** ** _will it?_**

Harr _-Naruto_ sat panting outside the academy as Iruka looked at him in slight shock. Naruto had never been early to the academy in his life, and yet here he was, with 15 minutes before class. Iruka considered questioning the young student, but he decided to not push it and simply go with a "Good to see you Naruto." Naruto however, was beaming in triumph at the floating box that had the message:

 **'** **Quest Completed: Get to School!'**

 **Get to school on time to stop Iruka-Sensei from getting angry!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 30 min. *Complete***

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 20 min. *Complete***

 **-Get to the academy in under 10 min. *Failed***

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 3 Skill points**

 **\- Basic Chakra control scroll**

 **Bonus Reward:**

 **\- 10 Shuriken**

 **\- 10 Kunai**

 **\- Reputation with Iruka Umino +10**

Naruto grinned, although he hadn't managed to get there on time even when running at full pelt, he still managed to get one of the bonus awards, which was beneficial, as he'd forgotten his ninja tools while getting ready. He willed the box away, and was pleasantly surprised when it did. Noticing another message that had been hidden behind the quest box. He thought it larger, and was surprised when the message became clear.

 **Due to exerting yourself by running at full speed, your SPD increases by 2.**

Huh, so he didn't need to use those points to make him stronger, exercise and training would do just as good. Well, that meant more training! His body could certainly use it.

 **Due to logical thinking and analysis, your WIS increases by 1.**

Wow, this was even easier than he thought! Noticing that Iruka was looking at his funny, Naruto realised that he had been staring and grinning at seemingly nothing. Quickly chirping a hello like the old Naruto would have, he watched as his teacher's face relaxed, and he walked inside to get a seat. He noticed that a few of his classmates were already there – an emo kid with hair that looked like a duck's butt, a sleeping kid, and a guy with his collar hiding his face, and wearing sunglasses. Realising that he knew almost nothing about his classmates, apart from the emo, who he had previously thought of as an arrogant bastard, he tried to think of a way to find out more about them. He was shocked, then, when yet another box appeared in front of his face, reading;

 **Skill Unlocked! Observe Lv 1 Exp: 0/100**

 ** _By looking to discover the things that make people tick, you have created Observe. Use this to view the Character Info of other NPC's in detail._**

Naruto, delighted by his new skill, focused on the sleepy boy and thought fiercely, 'Observe!' As if by magic, the boy's information appeared in front of him.

 **Name: Shikamaru Nara**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 12 EXP: 700/1220**

 **Health: 350/350 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 1600/1600 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 15 (0)**

 **STA: 20 (0)**

 **SPD: 40 (0)**

 **INT: 100 (200)**

 **WIS: 130 (0)**

 **CHA: 8 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **2 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Nara – Super Intelligence, but less than normal levels of Chakra: +200 INT, Chakra halved, -50% STA gain, 50% shadow based jutsu skill gain.**

 **Lazy: -10% Reputation gain with Shinobi.**

 **Strategist: +100% Strategy skill gain.**

 **Description: Born to a clan of intelligent slackers, Shikamaru is a natural strategist who loves to play games of Shogi. He is best friends with Choji Akimichi, and enjoys watching clouds rather than ninja work.**

Huh, so he was from a family of geniuses that were really lazy? Informative, but nothing really much to go on. Naruto looked at the sunglasses kid next, he'd probably be interesting.

 **Name: Shino Aburame**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 10 EXP: 300/1000**

 **Health: 550/550 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 850/850 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 20 (0)**

 **STA: 35 (0)**

 **SPD: 35 (0)**

 **INT: 50 (0)**

 **WIS: 18 (0)**

 **CHA: 6 (-3)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Aburame – A hive for insects, is photosensitive and trained to be emotionless: Halved CHA, Insect based skills available, -50% STR gain, 50% damage taken from light-based attacks.**

 **Logical – Thoughts are based in cold logic and reason, disregard emotions: -50% CHA gain, 50% INT gain.**

 **Description: Shino is a boy from the clan of the Aburame, who are of the practice of introducing hives of parasitic insects into their children in order to create a symbiotic relationship. They are also very sensitive to light, hence why they wear sunglasses. He has been raised to be indifferent to society because of the discrimination that is often held against them due to their hives, but he really wishes for friendship.**

…Well, it wasn't as strange as some of the things that he had seen as Harry, that was for sure. But he couldn't be too bad, all that was wrong is that he's a bit socially awkward. A bit like Hermione actually, maybe he should get to know the guy. Now for the emo, his name was Sake or something, right?

 **Name: Sasuke Uchiha**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 22 EXP: 1300/2200**

 **Health: 1250/1250 (+10 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 1200/1200 (+40 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 60 (25)**

 **STA: 50 (0)**

 **SPD: 45 (30)**

 **INT: 50 (20)**

 **WIS: 40 (0)**

 **CHA: 5 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **0 (2)**

 **Titles:**

 **The Last Uchiha – The last of the Uchiha clan that is loyal to Konoha: +80% Reputation with Konoha**

 **Perks:**

 **Sharingan – A dojutsu kekkei genkai, which allows copying of jutsu skills and powerful genjutsu: +25 STR, +30 SPD, +20 INT, +2 LUK, 100% Genjutsu gain.**

 **Avenger – Thoughts are based on revenge and murder, highly unreliable and power-hungry: -50% CHA gain, x2 Susceptibility to dark influences.**

 **Description: Sasuke Uchiha was traumatised by the slaughter of his family by his brother, Itachi, and now seeks revenge against the world. He hates most people and sees everyone as nothing but tools to make his stronger. If there is power in the world, Sasuke believes that it belongs to him.**

…What a dick. Naruto hadn't even believed that someone could be so twisted at such an age, but then again, there was Voldemort. Hell, he had been through worse as both Harry and the original Naruto, how did this boy end up so twisted? Naruto made a vow to himself to never get anywhere near the kid unless it was un-avoidable. And he was as overpowered as old snake-face must have been too.

Iruka chose that exact moment to shepherd in the rest of the class and start the lesson. "Everyone, because of the upcoming exams to become Genin, Mizuki and I have decided to revise all the material needed to pass the exam. Today, we will be focusing on the Henge jutsu, as well as shurikenjutsu with kunai and shuriken. First, we'll do the Henge. Kiba, you first."

Someone in the back row groaned, and Naruto swivelled in his chair to look at him. He was a wild-looking boy with a dog on his head. Activating his 'Observe' skill, he read the boy's info as he slowly walked down the aisle.

 **Name: Kiba Inuzuka**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 9 EXP: 50/900**

 **Health: 650/650 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 470/470 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 33 (0)**

 **STA: 32 (0)**

 **SPD: 40 (0)**

 **INT: 15 (0)**

 **WIS: 10 (0)**

 **CHA: 18 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Inuzuka – A member of a feral beast-like clan with enhanced senses: +10 STR, +10 STA, 80% tracking skills gain**

 **Feral – Acts on instinct, not completely civilized: -50% INT gain, 50% CHA gain, -20% reputation gain with Konoha.**

 **Nin-dog companion –Akamaru, his faithful hound, follows him everywhere, even in combat.**

 **Familiar: Akamaru**

 **Level: 3 Exp: 20/300**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 10**

 **STA: 10**

 **SPD: 15**

 **INT: 15**

 **WIS: 5**

 **CHA: 0**

 **LUK: 0**

 **Description: Kiba Inuzuka was raised by his mother and sister, leading to an almost non-existent male influence in his life. As such, he is constantly trying to prove his masculinity. He loves his Nin-dog companion as one of his own family, and can literally understand the beast. He is a slacker, but can be motivated with the right incentive, and hates reading.**

Watching the dog-boy try to perform the Henge jutsu was almost pitiable, as he had a fairly small amount of chakra, and bad chakra control. He had finally gotten himself looking like the instructor when the door slammed open with incredible force, startling the boy with sensitive hearing and making him loose control of his Jutsu. Iruka sighed, and waved him back before glaring at the cause of the disturbance. Two girls, one with pink hair, the other with blond, snapped and yelled at each other as they ran to either side of Sasuke, both trying to plaster themselves to his side.

Iruka sighed, why was it that some of the most promising students were absolute idiots? Holding his hands in a hand sign, he cast a genjutsu over the class to make it seem as if his head had swelled and was yelling at them. When they had finally calmed down and were suitably scared, he called up Sakura, to make her show the class her Henge.

Naruto frowned, he didn't really want to look at her stats, but he did want to know his class. Bracing himself, he activated his 'Observe' and focused on her information.

 **Name: Sakura Haruno**

 **Gender: Female**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 2 EXP: 30/200**

 **Health: 150/150 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 150/150 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 10 (0)**

 **STA: 15 (0)**

 **SPD: 15 (0)**

 **INT: 30 (0)**

 **WIS: 30 (0)**

 **CHA: 6 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **-1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Fan girl – This girl is absolutely obsessed with someone, and it dampens her abilities: -80% STR gain, -80% STA gain, -70% SPD gain, -50% INT gain, -50% WIS gain.**

 **Civilian – born from a villager couple, she has limited Chakra and Health: 150 Base Health & Chakra.**

 **Description: Sakura has a very obvious crush on Sasuke Uchiha, and if that wasn't bad enough, she barely has enough Chakra and strength to be a Shinobi. She has a rivalry with Ino Yamanaka, and she also has a split personality. Stay away.**

Naruto gulped, that was one crazy girl. He watched her perform her Henge with a smug smirk at the blond, and quickly moved his attention to her instead when she was called.

 **Name: Ino Yamanaka**

 **Gender: Female**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 5 EXP: 150/500**

 **Health: 350/350 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 450/450 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 15 (0)**

 **STA: 20 (0)**

 **SPD: 20 (0)**

 **INT: 25 (0)**

 **WIS: 20 (0)**

 **CHA: 7 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Crush – This girl is borderline obsessed with someone, and it dampens her abilities: -40% STR gain, -40% STA gain, -50% SPD gain, -50% INT gain, -50% WIS gain.**

 **Yamanaka – Born from the clan of the mind-walkers, she has an affinity for mental skills: 50% mental skill gain**

 **Description: Ino has a very obvious crush on Sasuke Uchiha, but not nearly as bad as Sakura's. She comes from a mind-walking clan, and is very reckless with her mind-transfer jutsu. She has a rivalry with Sakura Haruno, and she dislikes most boys other than Sasuke.**

Well, the Ino girl seemed to be a bit better, but he still felt as though he should avoid her. She was a bit too full-on for his comfort. Watching her complete her Henge into Iruka, he looked to the next person to go up. This seemed to be a slightly chubby boy with spirals on his cheeks, and had been sitting next to Shikamaru.

 **Name: Choji Akimichi**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 9 EXP: 50/900**

 **Health: 780/780 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 520/520 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 42 (0)**

 **STA: 36 (0)**

 **SPD: 30 (0)**

 **INT: 26 (0)**

 **WIS: 23 (0)**

 **CHA: 10 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Akimichi – A clan that uses body mass to increase size and strength: 50% STR gain, -20% SPD gain, 50% body manipulation skills gain.**

 **Description: Choji was a boy who had been bullied for his weight until he met Shikamaru, who became his best friend. He is very loyal, and has a great sense of duty. He gets angered when the word 'fat' is spoken around him, and is very friendly on most other occasions.**

Naruto watched as Choji performed the jutsu almost perfectly. Albeit the Henge's form was a bit plumper than Iruka's, but that was easily ignored. Iruka looked down his list of students, before sighing and calling out the name of his most timid student. "Hinata, please come down here."

Naruto jumped, he hadn't even realised that there was another student in the room, but there was. A delicate, deep blue haired girl with a distinct lack of pupils stood at the back of the room. She seemed to be blushing furiously, and with an 'Observe', he was surprised at what he found out.

 **Name: Hinata Hyuga**

 **Gender: Female**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 12 EXP: 750/1200**

 **Health: 550/550 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 700/700 (+20 per 5 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 15 (10)**

 **STA: 20 (0)**

 **SPD: 25 (15)**

 **INT: 35 (15)**

 **WIS: 30 (20)**

 **CHA: 1 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **Crush – This girl is borderline obsessed with someone, and it dampens her abilities: -40% STR gain, -40% STA gain, -50% SPD gain, -50% INT gain, -50% WIS gain.**

 **Byakugan – A coveted kekkei genkai dojutsu that gives the wielder near 360** **o** **sight and the ability to see chakra in the body: +15 SPD, +10 STR, +15 INT, +20 WIS.**

 **Description: Rather than having a longing for the Uchiha of Konoha, it seems that Hinata has a crush on** ** _you._** **She is of the main line of the Hyuga clan, but her weakness and frailty have made the clan elders dislike her, and her sister Hanabi is becoming the next candidate for heir.**

 _Well_ , that was…interesting. He felt sorry for the girl, he really did, but he simply didn't feel the same way towards her. In fact, he wasn't even sure that he was straight! His few experiences with women had left him confused and unsatisfied, and a little creeped out. And he had noticed that his eyes had started to wander towards the other boys in the Gryffindor change rooms, but he hadn't thought about it very much. He put that to one side, he had a class to focus on. He snapped back into attention as he saw the damned Uchiha strut out to the front of the classroom with the air of a peacock, and he had a brilliant idea. Searching for the vague memories of Naruto's experience with this jutsu, he recoiled mentally as he discovered that the original had made some sort of _enticement_ jutsu that involved turning himself into a scantily clad woman. Shaking the thought from his head, he placed his questionable sexuality aside and grasped at the knowledge of the Henge, and came away with a floating box stating that he had unlocked two new skills, although they seemed to be factoring Naruto's prior experience into it, and one of them wasn't really wanted.

 **Skill Unlocked! Henge Jutsu Lv 5 Exp: 300/500**

 ** _By looking deep into the memories that you were given, you have rediscovered the Henge! Fool your enemies with this illusion to make you look and sound like someone or something else!_**

 **Skill Unlocked! Sexy no Jutsu Lv 7 Exp: 50/700**

 ** _By looking into the more…lovely side of the illusion Jutsu, you have rediscovered the Sexy Jutsu! Use it as a distraction or as a cosmetic effect, this Jutsu will be certain to make those perverts happy._**

 _Great._ Ignoring the other Jutsu, he grappled with his knowledge of the Jutsu that would be worthy of the Marauders' legacy. He waited his turn, which happened to be right after Shikamaru, (He simply henged into Iruka and back without lifting up his head, causing slight laughter) he walked right up to his Sensei and asked in his most innocent voice he could manage, "Could I please henge into someone other than you Sensei?" Iruka frowned, Naruto was known for being the king of pranks in Kohonagakure, being able to pull off some of the craziest things imaginable. "…Alright Naruto, but it has to be a proper person, not that silly Jutsu." Kiba sniggered, and Naruto frowned at the reminder, but he put his hands into the correct handsign and vanished into a _poof_ of chakra smoke.

In his place was Sasuke, the royal git himself, and Naruto pulled out his best Malfoy smirk as he said to the class: "Hello, I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I'm a pompous bastard who walks around like I've got a stick up my arse and a pile of shit under my nose because I'm better than you." Silence reigned, Naruto had used the Henge to copy the bastard's voice as well, and it seemed as though it was actually Sasuke out the front. Naruto could see Kiba and Choji struggling to hold in laughter, and even the shy Hinata was wearing a small smile hidden behind her hands. Shikamaru could be seen with his head up off the desk, looking at Naruto with a mixture of amusement and appraisal, and Shino was staring at him as if he'd seen a diamond. Best of all was the face of Sasuke, he was turning puce with rage, hands shaking and eyes blazing, and with that, Naruto knew he had to continue. "Of course, you al know I'm an emo, but did you know that I'm also the king of angst in two different countries?"

Kiba wasn't even trying to contain his laughter now, and the others in the class were starting to laugh as well, excepting Sasuke, Ino, Sakura and Shino, the later holding his hand over his mouth as if in shock. Then Naruto switched it around. Before Iruka could stop him, he was now Sakura, smirking with her hands on her hips as the classes' eye's bulged. Now, he spoke in Sakura's voice. "And you all know me, I'm the queen of shouting at people until I get my way, and of course, I just _llooovvvee_ my Sasu-kun!" The whole class was now looking at him in aghast humour, no-one was daring to breathe in case they interrupted this…whatever it was. Both Sasuke and Sakura were looking as if they wanted to kill him, and he decided to make one last bang, to make sure that this was remembered for the rest of their lives. He brought up his hands one more time, Iruka not even trying to stop him now, and when Shikamaru's form appeared from within the smoke, the class barely had time to blink as he cast a dopey look at Sasuke and Sakura and gave a harrumph. "Hmm, you're so troublesome, bakas" With that, he went limp, feigning that he had fallen asleep standing up, and the classroom erupted into laughter. Even Ino joined in, laughing at the hilarious show that had just been performed. Naruto released the jutsu, poofing back into his own self, and as he felt Iruka clasp a hand on his shoulder, all the instructor could say was, "Well done Naruto."

 **…** **Well, that went strangely. I don't even know where that came from. Ok, bai.**


	3. Education! and Stuff!

**Hey again, thanks everyone for reviewing and everything, I hope you like this chapter as much as you seemed to like last chapter. See you!**

 **Onikiba/!Chozowarrior!: Hey! I'm glad you like it. The first chapters mainly for setting Naruto's base stats and stuff. And thanks for that idea, I'll put it below.**

 **Akayuki something or other: Thanks, I did think that Sirius would leave more of an impression on Harry, and while my other story doesn't have that, this one has Naruto to back it up, therefore it has to fit.**

 **Look what Jesus did (Lol): Yeah, I don't really like the fangirlish hormonal idiots either. I'll try to make it normal-ish, k?**

 **Horcrux-for-Tommy-boy: Hello! And yeah, he'll be friends with most of the 9, but Sasuke and Sakura aren't going to be there, and one other might not be either due to their actions this chapter. Naruto will probably try to get Hinata hooked up with someone else to get her of his back too.**

 **Sonsky: Hi, your question will be answered next chapter. But thanks!**

 **DarkDust27: I really don't know if there will even be romance in it to be honest, I was mostly pointing out that apart from getting perverted-ness from Jiraiya, and his obsession with Sakura, he could be gay in cannon. Cauz really, what straight man would turn themselves into a naked woman? If you can find one, I'd like to shake his hand.**

 **Geryelle: Yeah, I don't know if I will be going yaoi anyway. And I really just feel like going through the story at a calmer pace, rather than prophecies and stuff.**

 **Riddle-Snape: Well I didn't really put down any characters apart from Sas-uke and Sakura, maybe Ino. He just felt sorry for Kiba's lack of control, and Hinata he just wasn't comfortable with her feelings for him. With Shikamaru…How are you even supposed to feel about him? It's really just a meet 'n' greet section.**

 **Lillyoftheval5: Well, Sasuke is sorta the next coming of Orochimaru in cannon, except he gets better. He uses his 'friends' and is cruel for no reason. He blames everyone for what Danzo and the elders did, and he's a rotten bastard.**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J.K, and I'm Australian, not Japanese, so I don't have any claim to either franchise. If you sue, I'll kill you. But that won't happen,** ** _will it?_**

 ** _"_** ** _Expecto Potato" – Spells_**

 _~Yo~ - Parseltounge_

Naruto tensed as Iruka clasped a hand on his shoulder, the classes' hysterical laughter calming down some. He could see Shikamaru sniggering as he stared at him with eyes that seemed to be judging him, and Sasuke, still flaming red in the face, was smirking at the sign that Naruto was about to get in trouble. Noticing some floating boxes appear, he left hem for later as he turned around to face the Chunin. Iruka seemed to be struggling to hold in his mirth, and calmed himself slightly before complimenting him. "Well done Naruto."

" **What!** " Everyone turned around to look at Sasuke, who was standing up and pointing an accusing finger at Iruka. "He just embarrassed me in front of the whole class, ad you congratulate him!?" The class turned back to Iruka, who had started wearing a small smile, and listened to his words. "While Naruto did embarrass you and Sakura, Mr Uchiha, He did show very good technique with the Henge. Besides, it wasn't anything shameful or cruel, just a joke." The class grew thoughtful, and Iruka explained. "While almost all of you managed to take my shape, Naruto assumed both the forms and voices of Sasuke, Sakura and Shikamaru in quick succession, and managed to create a semi-believable performance, at least with Shikamaru." Shikamaru nodded in thought, and the rest of the class began to hold on to the teacher's words with enthusiasm. "As a ninja, you have to be able to Henge into something or someone else, and keep up the act. No-one will believe a Henge of the Hokage that sounds and acts like Kiba, will they?" Kiba blushed at this, and while Choji and Ino laughed at that, the rest of the class looked as if they had just had a revelation.

Iruka smiled, thanks to Naruto, he'd managed to give his students a life lesson that would hopefully manage to keep them safer in their careers. Motioning them out the door, he raised his voice to make an announcement. "Now that everyone has shown the Henge, we'll go outside and find Mizuki, alright?" With an almost unanimous murmur of agreement, Iruka turned, and walked out the door. Sasuke, Sakura and Ino huffed and strutted out, Ino albeit half-heartedly. The Choji and Kiba rushed over to Naruto and shook his hand, thanking him for taking Sasuke down a peg. This was sans Shikamaru, Shino and Hinata, the later rushing out the door with a squeak, and the two former simply nodding their heads at him. Watching them leave, he gave a short laugh before turning to the floating boxes that had been ignored, interested in what his performance had done.

 **From showing your intelligence by looking for information, your INT increases by 2.**

 **Due to finding a way to cheer and excite your peers, your CHA increases by 1.**

 **Because of your performance's comedic value, your reputation with Kiba gained +20.** ** _You are now friends._**

 **Because of your performance's comedic value, your reputation with Choji gained +20.** ** _You are now friends._**

 **Because of your performance's comedic value, and because it was you, your reputation with Hinata gained +30.**

 **Because your performance inspired an informative speech, and he liked your interpretation of him, your reputation with Shikamaru gained +30.** ** _You are now friends._**

 **Because your performance inspired an informative speech, your reputation with Shino gained +20.** ** _You are now friends._**

 **Because your performance gave him inspiration to teach something, your reputation with Iruka gained +10.**

 **Because of your performance's mocking nature, your reputation with Sasuke gained -50.** ** _You are now rivals._**

 **Because you mocked Sasuke, and your performance was embarrassing, your reputation with Sakura gained -100.** ** _You are now hated._**

 **Due to listening to an informative speech, you gained 200 Exp for skill: Henge.**

 **Henge Skill is now Level: 6**

Wow, he didn't think that his act would have had that much of an impact. The girl hated him? Eh, he could deal with that. Blinking, he realised that he'd been left behind, and ran out of the room to follow the group.

001001000010010010010010000100100111001001001100100100110000101000100110010010010001010100

Reaching the group, he got a few glances and a glare before everyone stoped talking amongst themselves to listen to their other teacher, Mizuki. He split them into groups of 2 and sent them to target posts to practice throwing their kunai and shuriken. Realising that he still had his stored in his inventory, he quickly sent out the corresponding thought. Marvelling as the world stopped moving, he sighed as he realised that he could only move his head and arms, the rest of his body frozen stiff like the rest of the world. In front of his were rows of boxes, some of them having things like a scroll or what looked to be shuriken.

Slapping himself for being an idiot, he realised that those were the things that he had gotten in his quest earlier, and reached out to the boxes. Touching the box with the kunai in them, he flinched in shock as one materialized in his hand. A small number on the side of the box changed from **10** to **9**. Realizing that the number was how many he had, he put the kunai in his pocket. Closing the inventory, he blinked as the world started moving again as if it hadn't stopped. Ino was walking over to the post that she had been assigned with Naruto, and everyone else moving to their own places. Shrugging to himself, and not wanting to be left out, Naruto walked over as well.

Pulling out the kunai, he stood next to Ino and looked through his new memories of training his kunai throwing. There wasn't many, as he had preferred to…mess around with Kiba and Shikamaru apparently. But it seemed that there were a few times that Mizuki had made him do it.

 **Skill Unlocked! Shurikenjutsu, Kunai Lv 1 Exp: 0/100**

 ** _The ninja art of throwing kunai knives has been remembered, although, you haven't any real skill at it because you were taught wrong. Perhaps you should get a tutor?_**

 **Skill Unlocked! Shurikenjutsu, Shuriken Lv 1 Exp: 0/100**

 ** _The ninja art of throwing Shuriken stars has been remembered, although, you haven't any real skill at it because you were taught wrong. Perhaps you should get a tutor?_**

Naruto frowned, Mizuki-sensei had taught him personally, so why was it being displayed as taught wrong? Had…had Mizuki purposefully taught him wrong? His teacher was a Chunin, so it wasn't like he was just in-experienced, and his main weapon was a giant shuriken that he always carried around anyway, so he'd have to be good at shurikenjutsu! Looking at Ino, he noticed her glancing at him with confusion, as if he had done something strange. Backing away when she raised a hand covered in chakra, he blinked, and darkness overtook him.

-dumplings-

Ino had a weird feeling. She'd noticed that Naruto was being quieter today, but thought nothing of it until he pulled that prank on Billboard-brow and Sasuke-kun. That had actually been funny, at least, the bit about Sakura and Shikamaru was. But he was acting so different! Her dad had taught her to notice changes like this, and even though she was oblivious to it most of the time, this was Naruto. He was the village's idiot, and an absolute loudmouth. His stupid pranks like turning the Hyuga clan's laundry pink or pouring bubble bath mix into the main square's fountain were meant to be loud and rude, just like he was.

But the prank earlier had been all about laughs. He hadn't broken any rules or anything like he normally did, he'd just taken the opportunity he was given and made the class into a joke, and it was one that people could actually appreciate for once, instead of just being annoying. And he was listening and doing as he was told too. It was as if he was a completely different person, and that wasn't normal. It was if there was someone else in his head, and if that was true, then it was her job to help out, and make sure that it was really Naruto. Preparing herself, she made a pool of chakra for her new jutsu that her father had taught her, slapped her palm on his head, and shouted. "Mind Walk Jutsu!"

-HEISTHEONETHATISTHEONETHATISTHEONETHATISTHEONETHATISTHEONETHATISTHEONE-

Ino looked around. This wasn't what her dad had told her to expect at all. It was supposed to be a big grey room with a brain in the middle, but this was way different. It looked as though Konoha had been shoved into a giant stone castle! There was a big set of doors in front of her, and a set of stairs to each side of her. There were people walking around that she didn't recognise at all, a guy with sparkly robes and a huge beard, a greasy haired man wearing black, and two guys with ginger hair walking around with sticks in their hands.

There were people she did recognise though, like the Third Hokage, Mr Ichiraku from the ramen shop, and what looked to be an ANBU black ops guy or two, but she couldn't really see what their masks looked like.

"What are you doing here?" Whirling around, she turned to face a boy in black, red and gold robes, although there was a bit of orange on the sides of it. He had black hair with streaks of blond, a scar on his forehead that looked weird, some whiskers on each cheek, and eyes that were different colours. One was an azure blue that was as clear as the sky, and the other was a bright green that seemed to glow with un-natural light. He looked at her, and when he frowned at her all off the other people walked off. Still frowning, he cocked his head and looked at her as if he'd seen her before. "Are you Ino, the loud one with the Haruno girl?"

"Naruto?" The boy who she presumed to be Naruto ignored her in favour of patting himself down and checking his pockets. This went on for a few moments until he let out a quiet mumble of "Of course" and pulled out a long stick with a handle. Pointing it at her, he let a small smile grace his face. "I'm going to have to make you leave now, but I can't have you remembering what you saw here. And thank you for helping me finally get the knack of Occumency, Snape was a horrible teacher, and he never taught me properly. How are you supposed to make defences for your mind when you can't even get in on your own? I'll just stay a bit and re-arrange things. By the way, how is it supposed to look anyway? Ah, never mind, I'll just pull the information out of your mind myself. Oh. Ok, my mind is really strange then. Guess it figures, anyway, goodbye!" **_"Obliviate!"_**

And with that, Ino Yamanaka was pushed from the mind she had intruded without managing to get even a single word in edgewise.

-chips-

Iruka rushed over to Mizuki's side of the training grounds. It seemed as though Ino had used one of her family's Hiden Jutsu on Naruto, and Shikamaru had noticed and decided to inform him of the incident. Who knows what might happen if the girl got it wrong, and if she got it right, she might find the Kyuubi, and then both his and Mizuki's heads would be on the chopping block. Reaching Ino and Naruto, he noted that Mizuki had propped up Ino's body and made sure she was ok, but had ignored Naruto completely, only making sure not to break the connection incase that trapped Ino inside Naruto's body.

Adjusting Naruto so that he wasn't lying in the dirt, he frowned as Ino's eyes fluttered open. If she knew about the fox, then she'd have to be taken to the Hokage for countermeasures. As the girl brought the hand that had been resting on Naruto's head up to caress her own, his frown turned into a very worried look as Naruto didn't wake up. It seemed as though the technique hadn't been done right then. Grabbing Ino's shoulder, he barely held back from yelling at her. "Ino, what do you remember?" All he got was a blank look from the girl before she fell back into unconsciousness, probably from overuse of her chakra. Sighing, he hefted Naruto into his arms and motioned for Mizuki to take Ino. "Alright, listen up class! Due to Ino using one of her jutsu on Naruto, both of them need to go to the hospital. Because of that, you are free for the rest of the day."

Several kids cheered, mainly the civilian children from Mizuki's homeroom and the lazier members of Iruka's class, but there were those who looked at Naruto worriedly, and the emo king just snorted and walked off, ignoring his fanbase. Iruka sighed, no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to get the kids interested in learning. Walking out of the yard, he toyed with the idea of taking him straight to the hospital, before giving up on the knowledge that the hospital staff hated the boy, and started walking to the Hokage's tower.

-paint-

Hiruzen Sarutobi sighed as he looked at the mass of paperwork that was the bane of all the Kage. The enemy that was paperwork was one of the major downfalls of being Hokage, and the one thing that he had been more than happy to leave to Minato upon his retirement, but no! Minato had to go and die and leave him with the devourer of souls. Stamping approval for every single itty bitty thing that happened in the village, it was as if the citizens believed that they couldn't do anything on their own. And the missions! He had to assign so many missions to all of his shinobi, and the D-ranks and C-ranks drove him up the wall! All of the citizens paid for numerous tasks that weren't fit for a child, let alone a full-fledged shinobi, and complained when he had trouble keeping up with them. And the elders! His former teammates were royal pains in the ass, complaining about this and that, going behind his back as if they had actual power, and his shinobi listened! The whole Uchiha incident could have been easily avoided if only Itachi had come to him beforehand. And don't get him started on the Foundation! That bloody Danzo needed to go…

The Hokage was interrupted from his stress-fueled ramblings when Iruka Umino walked in with Naruto in his arms, unconscious and looking like a puppet with cut strings. "What happened?" Iruka felt a bead of sweat drip down his face, the Hokage had an almost grandfatherly attitude towards Naruto, and anything that hurt him was liable to die. "Lord Hokage, one of my students, Ino Yamanaka, took it upon herself to use one of her family's Hiden jutsu on him. She has collapsed from Chakra exhaustion, and he has yet to awaken. We don't yet know why she did it or if either of them made contact with _it_ , but I thought it best to take him to you first." Hiruzen sighed, the day was just getting worse and worse.

"Neko. Get Inoichi from the Torture and Interrogation division and have him stay with her, try to get him to find out why his daughter would do such a thing. Also, Inu, take Naruto to his personal ward at the hospital and await further orders." Two ANBU dropped from the ceiling, one with long purple hair, the other with grey, gravity-defying hair. They both nodded, and when the Dog-masked one had collected Naruto, they both Shunshin-ed out. Iruka sighed and rubbed his scar in irritation, he felt like a failure, he hadn't stopped his student from hurting another, and look at the consequences.

"Iruka" He turned to face the Third. "You are not at fault here, we do not know what happened, and unless you instructed the girl to use the jutsu, you will not be held accountable."

 _Sigh._ "Yes Lord Hokage."

 **Hey Y'all, hope you liked it, I've been sick lately, so I haven't been able to work on it, but here it is.** ** _Yay._**


	4. The Depths of the Mind

**Meh, since no-one wanted to guess the references, I might as well spell them out for those who didn't get them. The other playable characters were, in order, Alice, from Alice in Wonderland, Ciel Phantomhive, from Kuroshitsuji, Naruto, Yugi Mouto, from Yugioh, Monkey D. Luffy, from One Piece, Ash Ketchum, from Pokémon, and Edward Elric, from Fullmetal Alchemist. The writing was also a vague reference to Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. There would have been others, but I didn't want it to be too long. Meh, here's another chapter.**

 **Randallxcon: Hey, thanks, I thought it was a bit different, and the Gamer-verse stories that I've seen before were really good, so that gave inspiration. And…Well, you pretty much summed it up, and I don't want to give spoilers for what's below, but I can say that the Fuuinjutsu-runes is a great idea, and while I'd like to use it, it would be fairly hard to manage when Harry is the only Wizard among the ninja. Maybe after he learns the sealing arts.**

 **Akayuki: Yeah, Ino's definitely not the smartest person around. She assumed that because she had training from her dad, that when she thought that she noticed even a small detail like that (for once), she could assume that he was someone else. Two, yeah, she accidently did it perfectly, but her memory loss and Naruto's coma will be attributed to something like that.**

 **Greyelle: Hello, sorry for not answering your last review right, I read it wrong. Yeah, Sasuke and Sakura will try to fight, but I can't say for certain when. And since it was his head, of course he could use a wand that he thought up. And I don't like the flash-happy Aurors either, but the spell is precise. Only powerful wizards can retrieve the stolen memories, and Konoha doesn't have any of those except for Naruto.**

 **Soul-container-for-Mouldyshorts: Well, you have the right idea with Ino, but I don't want to say because of spoilers. And thanks, I liked the look of Naruto/Harry when I imagined him too.**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J. . How you could mix me up with her is questionable, but I really can't take credit for her work. And I ain't Shonen Jump either.**

 ** _"_** ** _Expecto Potato" – Spells_**

 **"** **Bring me all the llamas" – Demon/Summoning Speech**

 _~Yo~ - Parseltounge_

Naruto looked around his mind. He hadn't had much practice before, since Snape had been pretending to be a bastard then, but he'd gotten the gist of it. Think things up, they appear. That's how it worked with the wand, figures it would appear in his back pocket. Moody was always paranoid. Waving away the message boxes that obscured his view, he tried to think of a way to make a designated point where people start when they intruded.

 **Skill Unlocked! Mind Art, Occlumency Lv 1 Exp: 20/100**

 ** _You finally figured this shit out, huh? Well, now you can protect your mind and all that jazz. You currently suck, so get better._**

 **Skill Unlocked! Mind Art, Legilimency Lv 1 Exp: 10/100**

 ** _Well, the more you know, right? Well, now you can pinch stuff from inside peoples' heads and someday maybe implant things that shouldn't be there. That stuff's hard though, so get better._**

He'd somehow managed to invade the girl's head and pull out a picture of what normal minds looked like, so he had a template. Walking outside, he paused and gave a salute to Hagrid's hut, before wiling himself into the sky. Huh, his mind was the grounds of Hogwarts, with the castle and some other stuff, like a house that eerily looked like it was from Little Whinging, and a food shop that must be the ramen place his new memories boasted of. He concentrated on shrinking everything into a ball, and was surprised when it did. Putting that aside, he saw that his surroundings were now a grey void. Perfect. He imagined the greyness solidifying, turning into a niche that formed a circular ring, and then put a big brain in the middle. Mentally grasping around the ball in his hand for the memories of Naruto, he dragged them out of the mental images that were the people they were associated with and turned them into scrolls. The older, faint ones he dropped onto the floor of the circular room, and the short term ones he sunk into the brain. Happy with the way things were going, he prepared to keep going when a pop-up appeared.

 **Occlumency Skill is now at Level 2**

Great, so just doing things in his head constituted experience? Ok. Thinking into being a secret panel in the solid grey wall, he flew himself to the other side and let his ball of mind-stuff grow back into an island of green. Floating back down onto the island that was Hogwarts, he frowned at the presence of a powerful energy. Energy that felt like Chakra, but deeper and more powerful. Following the Chakra, he came to rest at the sink that hid the Chamber of Secrets.

Curious, but not wanting to slide down the filthy slide, he imagined the Chamber, everything past the door of snakes, cut out of the castle and took it into the sky above the castle with him. _~Open~_ The door opened as it had the last time, and he walked into the chamber to a rather different sight. Instead of rows of stone snakes leading up to a statue of Slytherin, there were fox heads jutting out of the water, which had turned red. The giant statue had been replaced with a giant metal grate held closed by a paper tag with _'Seal'_ on it, behind which was a giant kitsune three times the size of the Hungarian Horntail. It looked at him with a giant red eye, and let out a rumbling voice.

 **"** **You, boy, come here."** Not trusting the fox as far as he could throw it, which by its size, wasn't very far, he walked up to the cage and stopped just short of the bars. "What do you want?" The fox grinned, and one of its large hand-like paws edged over to the bars of the cage, talons almost touching him. **"You are different from before, you have a different soul, and a different type of energy flowing through you. I have seen the ease with which you arranged your mind, and I am intrigued."** Naruto narrowed his eyes, so, the thing knew that he was someone else? Well, this might be difficult. If he was sharing a body with this creature, he had to know what he was dealing with. 'Observe!' a large screen came up, glowing red as opposed to the regular blue.

 **Name: Kurama**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Demon Fox**

 **Level: ? EXP: ?/?**

 **Health: 250000/250000 (+500 per 10 sec regen)**

 **Chakra: 4500000/4500000 (+2000 per 5 sec regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: ? (?)**

 **STA: ? (?)**

 **SPD: ? (?)**

 **INT: ? (?)**

 **WIS: ? (?)**

 **CHA: ? (?)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **? (?)**

 **Titles:**

 **Kyuubi no Kitsune: ?**

 **Perks:**

 **?**

 **?**

 **?**

 **?**

 **Description: Once a part of the Juubi, the Ten-tailed Demon Beast, He was created along with the other Tailed beasts by the Sage of the Six Paths. He holds a vendetta against most of humanity because of their constant use and mistreatment of him, but feels a kinship with those who have been similarly mistreated. He is currently split in two, with his darker-half residing in the Shinigami's stomach.**

Naruto grimanced, this guy was nasty strong, even at half strength, and he had a horrible past of being used as well. He watched as the fox's grin turned into a somber look. **"So, you had a life of being used too. It's a shame when people turn against you out of fear. That Ron kid was just like one of the Uchiha, loyal and honerable until it doesn't suit them anymore. Then they go against you, and poke you with sharper sticks than anyone else. Nothing but hate and fear."**

"So, you found those memories. Well, I had one or two real friends. Say, can I call you Kurama?" The fox half-stood rapidly in shock, before settling back down with an amused smirk. **"So, your Gamer thing lets you see my name, eh? Never seen anything like that before. Very well, you may."** The giant fox seemed to be happy at the fact that someone knew his name, and that happiness was dampened by his next question. "So what exactly are you? The other Naruto didn't pay much attention when you were mentioned, and I know nothing, so what can you tell me?" The demon fox rolled its enormous eye and sat back on its ass to look at the boy with both eyes.

 **"** **Bah, I suppose I should tell you so that you don't get a warped view of me. I'm one of the nine Tailed beasts, the Nine-tails, which means I have the most Chakra of all my brethren. We were split into 9 separate beings by the man who could very well be my father, the Sage of Six Paths. He was the man who stopped the Juubi, the Ten-tails, ad sealed it inside himself to keep it from hurting anyone. My siblings and I were meant to be peacekeepers, defenders of humanity and the neutral party in wars. That was before humans got the idea to seal us into themselves, to gain our power in the way the Sage took the Juubi's. As we were repeatedly sealed and used as weapons, we started to resent humanity, my brother Shukaku went insane from numerous inept sealing attempts."**

Kurama sighed, the tale was getting steadily worse. **"Then, an Uchiha by the name of Madara used his Sharingan to control us, the he took his friends' lives to make his visual prowess more powerful, and then he stole his brother's eyes once his own started to fade. Those eyes, the Mangekyo Sharingan, were able to cast such a powerful Genjutsu that our minds' were bent to his will. My family all ended up losing their minds to the hatred and pain his eyes caused, and ended up going almost feral. I escaped for a long time, before he forced me to fight Hashirama Senju, causing me to be sealed into his wife, Mito Uzumaki."**

Naruto listened with interest. The fox had had a terrible life, and that was for certain. He could tell that being sealed was irritating, the fox seemed cramped and uncomfortable in the small cage. He focused on making it larger, and making the stone into something comfortable, like grass. Kurama stopped talking in shock for a moment, and whispered a thanks, before continuing in a more relaxed tone. **"Anyway, I was stuck inside of Mito, and had to watch from a cramped cell as the Leaf Village, Konoha, came to be. I never got to have even a glimmer of freedom. My chakra was stolen from me, and I was yelled at by Mito if I did so much as scratch the bars. Then, as she got old, I had to be moved into a different container, lest I attack the village at Mito's death. Bah, I hated them, but I would have more likely turned tail and run for the hills had I escaped, I had no wish to be confined any longer. But then there was your mother."**

Naruto looked on in interest, even as Harry, he barely had any proper information about his parents, everyone except Snape painted them in a golden light, and anyone could tell that they were glorifying things for the orphan. The Priori Incantatem and Resurrection stone incidents had been enough to have a small meeting with them, but he had been in danger both times, and hadn't had any real interaction with them, just encouragement and a bit of help. **"She was very young when she was brought to be my prison, and was poisoned by exaggerated tales of me trying to get loose, prompting an even worse confinement than the cage. She was so scared of me escaping that I was chained to a wall, with spikes through my tails and a chain wrapped around my neck. She was too young to know any better, and by the time she had grown up, the only contact she had with me was to steal my chakra and to assess the seal, but those things didn't even require her to see me."**

 **"** **It was when you were about to be born that I almost got out, the seal weakens during childbirth, and I was desperate to get out by then. But then, an Uchiha who claimed to be Madara, yet with different chakra, interrupted everything and kidnapped your mother while your father saved you. He dragged me out of her, breaking the seal in a way that would assure her death. For a brief moment, I was free. But then I made the mistake of looking into his damned eyes. He trapped me in a Genjutsu and made me trample the village, while he took on your father in combat. Once the Uchiha was defeated, I came back to my senses, but while I was trying to escape, your father engaged me in combat. I tried to knock him out quickly, but your mother used the Uzumaki clan's Adamantine Sealing chains to pin me down again, and your father started preparing a sealing jutsu. He summoned the death god, the Shinigami, and it split me into two, my Yin-chakra being sealed into your father, as he allowed the Shinigami to take his soul. I attempted to kill you, because they were going to seal me into you, and I would have given anything for that not to happen, but they jumped in front of my talon, killing themselves. Your father sealed me inside of you with the Eight Trigrams Seal with his dying breath, and I've been here ever since.**

Silence reigned, the fox watching as the young boy bowed his head and cried. Harry's parents had sacrificed themselves to save him from Voldemort, and now his new parents had sacrificed themselves to give him a chance to live. It seemed as though he could never have a real family, they were always taken from him before he could get to know them. "Do you know who they were? I hated not knowing before, and the Dursleys didn't help much either. Now it's even harder knowing that they died for me, again, Y'know?"

Kurama blinked, before shaking his head incredulously. **"Sure brat. Your mother was Kushina Uzumaki, she was a spitfire of a kunoichi and a tomboy who loved beating up little snots who insulted her hair. She was a lot like you before you became different, and her nickname was Konoha's Red-Hot Habanero, because of her red hair and feisty temper."** Naruto snorted, his tears drying up. **"Your father was the Fourth Hokage, you know, the leaders of the village? He was Minato Namikaze, known as the Yellow Flash of the Leaf because of a Space-time Teleportation technique he derived from the one made by the Second Hokage. He was also much better at it then the Second as well. He was blond, like you, and one of the most sickeningly nice people that I've ever known. That is, known second hand. When we met in person, he summoned a giant bloody toad on me. A toad!"**

Naruto was snickering now. For a giant monster fox, Kurama was one of the most human and personable people he'd ever met. "Well, we can all blame it on the Uchihas then, can't we?" Kurama took a look and grinned savagely. **"Brat, if this is how you think, I think we'll get along just fine. But you should probably go, the idiots outside are starting to worry."** "Well, see you." **"Count on it."**

-When Life gives you lemons, make a blueberry tart and watch as Life tries to work out how the fuck you did it—

Inoichi sighed as he drifted through his daughter's mind. He just couldn't understand what was going through her head, to use one of the clan's Hiden jutsu on one of her classmates, it was unheard of. Reaching the neural center, he cast out his thoughts towards the morning class and pulled the relevant memory scroll out of the brain. Concentrating, he made the scroll start to turn and let the memories envelop his senses.

 _…_

 _Naruto_ _vanished into a poof of chakra smoke._

 _…_

 _"_ _I'm a pompous bastard who walks around like I've got a stick up my arse and a pile of shit under my nose because I'm better than you."_

 _…_

 _'_ _Her dad had taught her to notice changes like this.'_

 _…_

 _'_ _His prank was_ _ **funny**_ _for once'_

 _…_

 _'_ _Sasuke will be so impressed if I find a spy'_

 _…_

Frowning, Inoichi opened his eyes and looked at the scroll to figure out why he couldn't play the rest of the memory. Staring right back at him was an empty gap in the scroll, glowing with a peculiar energy. That must be…the Kyuubi! It did something to Ino's mind, making it forget that she saw it. Well, that might be for the best right now, and since there wasn't any evidence that it had done anything else to her, it must have just been protecting itself. But Ino would have to be punished. The gall of her, trying to invade someone's mind, their one sacred place, because they performed a funny prank? Even if it was the boy with the fox in him, it wasn't right.

Releasing his jutsu and regaining consciousness in the waking world, he opened his eyes to see Choza looking at him with worry in his eyes. "Everything all right Inoichi?" "Yes Choza, except for the fact that my irresponsible daughter used a Hiden jutsu on an innocent boy and caused him to black out, yes." Choza looked at his friend with shock, Inoichi was terribly oblivious when it came to his daughter. For him to look at her with anything other adoration mean that she had done something very wrong.

"Sorry Choza, but I have to report this to the Hokage. Watch over her, will you?" Choza simply nodded, watching in confusion as his longtime friend walked out without another glance towards his beloved daughter. He looked at the girl. "Boy, you're in for it big-time missy"

-lumps—

"So that's it? She was just being presumptuous?" "Yes Lord Hokage. It seems as though she did have contact with the nine-tails, but it wiped her memory of the encounter. She is showing no adverse side effects to the fox's chakra." "Well then, if that's all, you should go and take care of your daughter Inoichi." "Thank you, Lord Third." Hiruzen Sarutobi sighed. The days seemed to just keep getting longer and longer, and now the son of Minato and Kushina was lying unconscious from a jutsu done wrong, and he was powerless. "Naruto, wake up child."

…

"Urgh, um, Jiji?" Hiruzen snapped out of his momentary daze to look at the boy who had finally woken up. "Yes Naruto? Are you well?" Naruto just shook his head, trying not to show his shock at the message box in front of him.

 **'** **Secret Quest Completed: Magic!'**

 **Get some degree of control over your magic.**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Learn a magic based skill *Complete***

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 6 Skill points**

 **\- Holly and phoenix feather wand**

 **\- Beginners book of simple spells**

He-His wand! He had his magic back! He wasn't defenceless at all! Noticing that the man that he viewed as his grandfather was staring at him in concern, he put a smile on his face, and shook his head at the man again. "Nah gramps, I'm fine! But did you get the number of the wagon that hit me?" Seeing that the man was in good spirits again, Naruto kept smiling, keeping the old man oblivious to his excitement. Then came the questions. "So, Naruto, did you see anything when Ino used that jutsu of hers?" Wondering what to tell him, he had to stop himself from jumping when a booming voice echoed through his head. **"Hey, kid. Feel free to tell him about me, I want to see the look on his face. Ask him why he never told you about your parents either."**

Thinking back an _'alright',_ he looked back at the Hokage and said in the most innocent voice he could muster, "Yeah, I met the giant fox who attacked the village. He said that he was sorry for attacking, but there was an Uchiha making him do it." Both of them enjoying the look on the spluttering old geezer's face, he then asked with a solemn tone, "And Jiji, why'd you never tell me that dad was the Fourth Hokage?"

Hiruzen's spluttering turned into outright choking on his pipe-smoke when Naruto said that, and a voice coming from outside the window yelled a "What!" as well. The Hokage managed to catch his breath and sighed out loud. This was probably one of the worst outcomes possible from Naruto meeting the fox. The only thing worse would have been the Kyuubi taking control of the boy and destroying the village. Everything that he had tried to keep secret for the safety of Naruto had been leaked out, and now it was up to him to clean up the mess. Oh dear, what on earth could go wrong next? As Kakashi Hatake leapt out of the bushes and took off his ANBU mask, he reconsidered that statement. _'Dear Kami, spare me!'_

 **Omake - Dumbledore's Next Great Adventure:**

Albus Dumbledore let out a curse as he leapt over another godforsaken barrel. One minute he had been falling from his office window, the next he was in some kind of tower of girders, with a giant ape tossing down barrels at him. Vaulting over yet another, he gave a mental sigh of relief as he came to a ladder.

Perhaps here, he might find a reprieve? Feeling another barrel bash into his legs as he hung from the rungs of the ladder, he gave a sigh and poked his head above the next girder and nearly got his head taken off.

Pulling himself up, he jumped just in time to dodge another barrel, falling flat on his stomach. He began to pull himself up before his twinkly star-patterned cloak caught on the edge of the metal. His last thoughts before respawning as the barrel rolled towards him were _'Bloody hell'_

 **Omake End**

 **Hi! Thanks for bothering to read through the whole thing, if you did. Hey, I have an idea for you. My friend gave me the idea of making a different version of this fic for different worlds, and I wanted to ask you what you thought of that? I'll put up a poll on my page, vote for which world you think I should do next. It doesn't have to be one of the ones I put above, I want to know what you guys think. That's all, bai! 0^0**


	5. Magic!

**Hello. Sorry if I forgot to clarify, but if I do another Video-game based story it won't be for a while. I really just wanted to know what you guys think, and if I like the result I might start one up when I'm a long way through this. I'm not just going to start another immediately.**

 **Anyway, Responses!**

 **Genuka: Hey! He probably won't admit that he is two people except to a small few. It would cause too many complications and it would just give Naruto a hard time. People will notice a difference about him though. Yeah, and the Hokage's head is already spinning at the fact that Kurama didn't mean to kill everyone. I'm still struggling to work out how he would react to this.**

 **Prince Larkin: Hey! Thanks for the idea for the Omake, it was fantastic, but I didn't feel that sodomizing would really fit in with the theme of the short. Maybe in part 2? Thanks anyway though.**

 **Fire dolphin: Hello and thanks for reviewing. I was thinking of a father-son bond, but I get the feeling that Naruto would rather have a student-teacher bond then father-son. He's probably still a bit traumatized from losing Sirius, and he would be freaking out constantly with all the injuries Kakashi gets. Also, I'll add Kagome, but if I did that there would be a much longer wait because I haven't seen Inuyasha. It is an option thou.**

 **Riddle-Snape: Well, it was fairly obvious that he would get his magic back, I mean, he has a point bar for it. As for Kakashi knowing, I don't know if he's even going to be Naruto's Jonin leader. He was a crappy teacher in the original, but I have to give it some thought. And yay for references! I only picked the main characters for each franchise because I thought that it fitted. I was personally leaning between Yugi, Ash and Naruto, but I ended up picking Naruto.**

 **Jeffery-Gebermartin: I was thinking of it, but it wouldn't be restricted to only HP characters. Danzo would be an excellent candidate for torture. Voldemort maybe, but I'll just have to see.**

 **Akayuki Novak: The poll should be fixed, I forgot something, but it's up now. I think Yugi would be interesting too, but it will depend on you guys. And thanks for your opinion on the Omake, I loved writing it too.**

 **Tommy boy's Horcrux: Thanks, I may not do it for a while, but feel free to vote on the poll. I really have a hard time trying to write Ciel's personality though. I do wish that he was easier on Finny and Pluto.**

 **TheBeauty: Thank you, and I have been focusing on this story rather than my others, to my dismay. I have half a chapter written for 'With a little bit of Luck', but this story has really captivated my attention.**

 **I Judicator: Well, I haven't decided yet whether I want to have romance, but NaruxKiba is one of my favourite pairings. Who is this Shining that you speak of?**

 **Lydia-Hood: I apologise if I have offended any Transgender readers, or bisexual people either, but I didn't mean anything against them, and I know that there are people who feel that they were born in the wrong body, and people who swing for both genders. I simply meant that I have yet to meet anyone entirely straight, who feel that they are indeed supposed to be male, yet like to wear drag. I would indeed like to meet someone like that, just because. I meant no disrespect, and if anyone feels as though I have disrespected them, I am very sorry. Lydia-Hood, please forgive me if I have offended you in any way, because my comment wasn't targeted at Transgender people or Bisexuals. I did read your profile, and I don't blame you for pointing out something that might have been offensive to others. Sorry everyone.**

 **Zmasher: Hello, and yeah, I was thinking along the lines of that, and it's great to see other people liking it. The weird dividers are just things that I was thinking about at the time. At some stage, I had just gone and gotten a drink of lemonade, and I was still thinking of Hitchhiker's Guide when I put in 424242. Didn't mean to confuse anyone, there's no secret codes or anything.**

 **Randalxcon: Yeah, I had a thought to keep him acting dumb, but it doesn't suit Harry very much. And Ash Ketchum would be perfect for this, he lives in the Pokémon world after all. Edward would be a bit harder cause of all the science stuff, and I've never been good at chemistry. I haven't seen much Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I'm pretty sure that Xander is the beaten up side-kick or something, right?**

 **Kynnetic: Thanks, there are quite a few amazing gamer stories out there, but I'm glad you like mine. As for Harry being homo, I totally agree. That's the point I was trying to make before. He didn't work with Cho, and he seemed to only work with Ginny because she wanted it. Most of the het pairings aren't that great, with a few lonely gems mixed in there.**

 **To all reviewers, please keep in mind that I don't mind flames. They can be very informative and can help me do a better job in writing Fanfics. Besides, if they aren't helpful, all they do is fan my perfectly cultivated Flames of YOUTH! *Teeth Sparkle***

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J. . How you could mix me up with her is questionable, but I really can't take credit for her work. And I ain't Shonen Jump either.**

 ** _"_** ** _Expecto Potato" – Spells_**

 **"** **Bring me all the llamas" – Demon/Summoning Speech**

 _~Yo~ - Parseltounge_

 **"** **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear Kami, kid, you sure know how to make the geezer croak. Look at him, he looks as though he's about to keel over! HA!"** _'If you're finished, there's a conversation that I need to be involved in right now, so please.'_ **"Yeah, go ahead kid, but make sure you run circles around them, ok?"** _'Fine'_ Naruto shook his thoughts away from the giant fox inside him and focused on the ANBU who had jumped out of the bushes outside his window. From the mask, it was the ANBU Inu, who was the one who used to help him out whenever he got beaten up as a kid. The villagers had slowly but surely gotten the message over the years, and now they only barred him from stores and glared at him as he went past. God, his life was pitiful. "Hey Inu, so that's what you look like. Huh." The ANBU quickly turned to Naruto in shock, as if he had forgotten that the boy was even there. "Um, oh. Naruto. I kinda…well, see ya!" With that, the panicking ANBU Shunshined away, leaving the Hokage and Naruto sitting in a very awkward silence.

"So, um…Jiji? You ok?" This shook the stunned Hokage out of his stupor, the man looking around for a moment before sighing gently. "Naruto, what did you mean by meeting the Kyuubi? That is a very dangerous creature, and could have killed you." Naruto shook his head. "Nah Jiji, the fox is fine! He told me to tell you that it wasn't his fault that the village was destroyed, because a masked man with a Sharingan made him do it. He got free though, and was trying to leave when dad sealed him inside me." The Hokage's face darkened, his age becoming more apparent. "So Minato sealed the fox away and gave his life only to keep the balance of power? And the nine-tails told you of your heritage?"

Naruto looked Hiruzen straight in the eye. "Yeah, my parents were heroes, and you never told me. Why Jiji? Why did you keep my parents from me? My mom had a clan, and I was never told. Why was that?" The old man shuddered at the look in the eyes of the boy that was practically his second grandson. "I kept your parents' identities secret because they had many enemies, Naruto. Iwa, the Village Hidden in Stone, held a particular grudge against your father due to his actions in the Third Great Shinobi War, and would have sent many assassins to kill you if they knew of your existence. Your mother's clan was also notorious, enough that nearly all of your clan was wiped out. I believe that you are one of the last remaining Uzumaki."

Naruto nodded to himself, so it was for a good reason? He could live with that. "So, Inu knew my parents Jiji?" the Hokage sighed, so many questions that he wasn't ready for and not nearly enough time to prepare himself. "Yes Naruto, Inu, or Kakashi, was once a Genin under your father. Minato was one of the people who Kakashi respected most, and he was heartbroken when he died." "Hey, speaking of ANBU, what happened to the other guy who used to follow me around and keep me safe? You know, the crow guy." Hiruzen could have sworn that his heart stopped for a moment. First Kakashi, and now the boy was asking about Itachi? "He had to go on a very dangerous mission that the village elders gave him. I wouldn't have given it to him myself, but what's done is done." Naruto fought not to narrow his eyes. He could tell that the man was avoiding the question, but drawing suspicion on himself wasn't a good idea. Oh well, at least he could try to get something more out of this. "Jiji, I'm not doing so well in my Shurikenjutsu, can you help me get it right?"

Hiruzen wiped his brow with relief, finally, something simple and easy that he could take care of. "Maybe Naruto, but I'm very busy, you know that. How about I get one of the Jonin that has some spare time to train with you, eh? That way you'll have a teacher that can move around a bit faster than me, what do you say?" Naruto laid back down and thought. Of course the Hokage would be pressed for time, but would a Jonin really teach an Academy student? "Well, ok Jiji, but he better be good!" The Hokage laughed, that sounded more like the Naruto he knew. "Very well, I'll send one of my very best Jonin to train you after school. You'd better get home and get to bed if you want to have the energy though, it's getting late." Looking out the window again, Naruto saw that the sun was indeed setting, and it would be dark soon. "Ok Jiji!"

-Wumpa fruit—

Hiruzen sighed as he looked through his roster for the next day, despite what he'd promised Naruto, almost all of his Jonin were scheduled to be out on missions. There weren't many Jonin left with exceptional Shurikenjutsu skill and the capacity to teach. A knocking sounded at his door, and as soon as he gave a "Come in", Kakashi walked in wearing his old Jonin outfit. "Why Kakashi, what are you doing here? Isn't it time for ANBU weekly training?" Kakashi walked forward and placed a porcelain mask on the desk. "Lord Third, I gratefully ask to resign from active service as an ANBU and request that I be given a regular B-rank mission for Jonin." "But Kakashi, for whatever reason?"

Kakashi's visible eye crinkled into an upside-down U. "The Genin teams are about to graduate, right? If sensei's son graduates, I ask that I may have him as part of my Genin team. I need the mission to calm my thoughts." Hiruzen smiled, at last the boy was leaving that dreadful Black Ops squad. Hopefully this would help to mend the hole in his heart that losing his friends and teacher had made. "Of course my boy, I wouldn't want anyone else to be Naruto's Jonin sensei, and he already knows you, so you'll do fine." Hiruzen fished out a B-rank for the embarrassed now-Jonin and gave it to him. "Border patrol, you'll be back within the week, and if all goes well, you'll have lots of time to think." "Thank you Lord Hokage."

Waving the embarrassed Jonin out, Hiruzen picked up the next data sheet for the Jonin. Hmn, this one wasn't very good at Shurikenjutsu either, but a note at the bottom listed that one of his Genin was training to be a weapons mistress. Perhaps this could work.

-ineedtosleep—

Almost giddy with excitement, Naruto summoned the inventory in his apartment and stood in silence admiring his wand. It was the same exact wand that he'd bought from Olivanders all those years ago, but all of the chips and scratches were gone, and it looked as though it had never been snapped in half! Waving his hand through the box where his wand now sat, he marvelled as it materialized into his hand, thrumming with the magic that he had missed dearly. Curious, he tapped the box with the magic book, and watched as it appeared floating in front of him. He exited the inventory and watched it fall onto his bed. Picking it up with his opposite hand, he blinked at the new text box that appeared in front of him.

 **Use 'Beginners book of simple spells'?**

 **YES/NO**

Curious, he pressed **'YES'** and watched as the book opened itself and flipped through every page in rapid motion. As it got to the end, it started dissolving into particles, and disappeared in a small flash of light. Knowledge crammed itself into his brain similar to the way he had received his new memories of being Naruto, quickly assimilating and becoming clear, as though he had spent an all-night stud session with Hermione memorizing each page. Nearly all of the spells that Naruto had been taught but had forgotten flowed back with perfect clarity. Incendio, Wingardium Leviosa, Reparo. All of the magic he had thought was lost laid there waiting for him to use it. A skill box floated in front of Naruto.

 **Through reading something other than fiction, your WIS increases by 2**

 **Skill Unlocked! Magic, Spellwork Lv 18 Exp: 490/1800**

 ** _Well done, you unlocked the ability to use most of the spells that you learned at school. They're grouped together because getting good at one equates to getting good at them all. Spells with special requirements are separate. Don't go crazy with it small fry._**

 ** _"_** ** _Lumos"_** The end of Naruto's wand lit up in a ball of pure light, and his heart soared. This was magic, this was what had gotten him through his encounters with Voldemort, and the prospect of being able to use it again was what had let him endure the suffering the Dursleys inflicted on him. This was why he was alive. **"Hey, brat. Turn the light off. Some of us are trying to sleep here."** "Ah, sorry." **_"Nox"_** The magical light disappeared, but the giddy feeling remained. Setting his alarm for an hour before the time that he'd had to leave for the academy, he slept, ending his first day as a completely different person.

\- Nima uchun bu tarjima qilish uchun bezovta qilyapsiz?—

 **-BEEP- -BEEP- -BEEP-**

Naruto groaned as the alarm pounded through his head. **"Urgh, why did you have to set it so early you idiot."** "Well, I did want an early start." Dragging himself out of the bed, he stumbled into the bathroom and had a shower. Feeling much more awake, he dried himself off and put on an old black t-shirt that he found in his closet, along with some grey pants. Looking through the cupboards in the kitchen, he sighed as he realized that he had barely any food other than instant ramen cups. Guess he wasn't going to be making anything then. A screen popped up in front of him, almost making him fall backwards onto the table.

 **Skill Unlocked! Cooking Lv 12 Exp: 730/1200**

 ** _Well done, you rediscovered the ability to slave away in front of a stove to create food. Although, it might be more useful now that you can actually eat what you make. You're pretty good at it too._**

The screen was right, it would be good to eat what he cooked for once. Hermione hadn't let him help when they cooked fish on the horcrux hunt, insisting that the cookbooks that she had read were enough to make her a master chef. The charred meat had spoken for itself. Heating up some water, he made up a ramen cup and sat down to eat. Unlike his predecessor, he was perfectly capable of waiting calmly for the noodles to cook. Finishing his quick meal, he gathered up his pouch of ninja tools and sat them down next to the ones that he retrieved from his inventory. The kunai and shuriken that he'd won were of far better quality than the ones that had been in his pouch.

Thinking back, he realised that he hadn't been allowed to buy tools, and had been forced to scavenge from old training sites. Other than his rewards for getting to the academy early, he had 5 old shuriken, 3 rusted kunai, a senbon that looked like it had been chewed to bits, two damp explosive tags, and some short strands of ninja wire. Sighing, he threw all of his old tools in the bin, ripping the tags lest they actually work and explode, and resolved to get new ones somehow. Seeing that he still had 45 minutes before school, he opened his inventory again and got out the Chakra control scroll. Closing the inventory and seeing the text pop up, he selected yes and his mind was filled with exercises, lessons and training tips on chakra control.

 **From reading about control methods and taking the initiative to explore new concepts, your WIS increases by 8**

Great. Feeling ready to go to school, he grinned as the quest box appeared when there was half an hour until it began.

 **'** **New Quest: Get to School!'**

 **Get to school on time to stop Iruka-Sensei from getting angry!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 30 min.**

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 20 min.**

 **-Get to the academy in under 10 min.**

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 3 Skill points**

Huh, so some rewards were a onetime only thing? Ok. With that, he rushed out the door, determined to get the 10 minute reward.

 **'** **Quest Completed: Get to School!'**

 **Get to school on time to stop Iruka-Sensei from getting angry!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 30 min. *Complete***

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 20 min. *Complete***

 **-Get to the academy in under 10 min. *Failed***

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 3 Skill points**

 **Bonus Reward:**

 **\- 5 Shuriken**

 **\- 5 Kunai**

 **\- Reputation with Iruka Umino +10**

Damn, he'd taken 12 minutes. Well, at least he was impressing his teacher, and the running was helping his physique too.

 **Due to running until you dropped, your STA increases by 2**

 **From dodging a Genin team running the other way, your SPD increases by 1**

Oh, that's right, his SPD was reflexes as well as running speed. Pulling himself out of the dirt and regaining control of his breathing, Naruto looked up right into the face of his teacher, who was looking at him with worry. "Are you all right Naruto? I didn't pry yesterday, but you look as though you've been running a marathon. Why the rush?" Not wanting to reveal his ability to Iruka, he improvised an excuse. "A Jonin told me that running to school would help me get faster and stronger, so I'm giving it a try."

Iruka blinked, before his face burst into a brilliant smile. "Well Naruto, it's great to see you trying so hard to make yourself better. Maybe keep in mind that you shouldn't push yourself harder than your body permits, or else you'll hurt yourself." Nodding, Naruto walked into class, noticing the surprised look that Shikamaru let fall across his face before it was dampened by a yawn. Naruto sat himself on the opposite side of Shikamaru from where Choji always sat, before sitting his head down on the desk and resting a bit to regain his strength. "So Naruto, sitting next to the class snoozer to stop people from noticing that you're asleep too?"

Naruto opened one eye to glare at the Uchiha, who was smirking up at him. "Nope, class hasn't started yet, so I won't get in trouble for taking a quick nap. Besides, why would I use Shikamaru to hide when he's always caught out? It doesn't make any sense." Seeing the emo's glare and his neighbour's smirk, Naruto closed his eye and gave another retort. "I thought that something like that would be easy for you to pick up on. Maybe the prodigy isn't as smart as he thinks he is."

Feeling the jerk of a classmate trying to burn a hole through his skull with his eyes, he lifted his head and crossed his arms underneath, smirking with his eyes closed at the Uchiha. "Stop pouting. What, do you think that you can just boss people around because you have a Sharingan? Wait, have you even gotten yours to work yet?" Feeling the angst increasing, he aimed for one last shot. "But hey, at least you have fangirls who will do anything you ask. Wait, two of them are Sakura and Ino. I retract my statement." Ignoring the now fuming boy in the front row, Naruto relaxed and waited for class.

Iruka sighed as he shepherded the remainder of his class inside. Why couldn't any of them be the slightest bit interested in what he was teaching? Noticing Naruto and Shikamaru sleeping next to each other on one of the desks, he prepared to start yelling at them when he noticed Naruto open his eyes and poke the Nara boy. Good, so they wouldn't need to be yelled at. Pushing an unruly Kiba into a seat and passing a glaring Sasuke, he greeted the class with a smile that clearly stated that he'd had some coffee and was more awake then they were.

"Hey guys, since next week is your Genin exam, I think it would be best if we went over the other two jutsu that you need to learn in order to pass that segment. First, let's do the Substitution jutsu. Can Kiba come and do it first?" Setting a chair in the middle of the floor, he waved Kiba down to try the jutsu. Naruto watched as the boy made a handsign and erupted into a cloud of chakra smoke.

When the smoke dissipated, he was standing right where the chair had been, and the chair was now in front of Iruka instead of Kiba.

 **Skill Unlocked! Substitution Jutsu Lv 3 Exp: 50/300**

 ** _Now that you've remembered the substitution jutsu have fun swapping places with things to your heart's content._**

"Next, Hinata!" Naruto watched as the shy girl walked unconfidently down to the floor. Making the handsign, she unconfidently stammered out the jutsu's name, and replaced herself with the chair. Jumping as Iruka clasped a comforting hand on her shoulder, she smiled hesitantly and began walking back to her seat. "Next, Sasuke." Sasuke barged into Hinata as he walked over to Iruka, knocking her over and making Iruka glare at him. Quickly performing the jutsu, he strutted back to his seat unheeding the glares directed at him. "Choji, stop eating and come down here." Hiding away his bag of chips, Choji made his way down to the chair and performed it without a mistake. "Naruto." Grinning, Naruto walked down to stand in front of Iruka. Getting an idea, he quickly performed the Substitute. Then, while the smoke was still clearing, he Henged the chair into him, putting a downcast look on its face, and Henged himself into the chair. The smoke finally clearing, Iruka sighed at the sight of Naruto still in front of him. "All right, you're up next Shikamaru."

Releasing the Henge, he smirked at Iruka, who had a stunned look on his face. Then, he performed the Substitute again, swapping places with Shikamaru. Noticing the confused look on his classmate's face, he moved back into his spot and called down. "I thought I'd save you the trouble of walking all the way to the front of the classroom." Everyone but Sasuke, Sakura and Ino laughed, with Ino looking at him with what seemed to be anger in her eyes. Shikamaru smirked, and gave a small salute to Naruto, which he returned. Performing the Substitute, Shikamaru slouched back in between Choji and Naruto, and the lesson continued.

When everyone had performed the jutsu, Iruka stopped the class to give a small talk. "Now, I want to bring to attention the skill that Naruto displayed. When you Substitute, there are times when you don't want the enemy to know that you substituted. That's when you Henge the object into yourself, to make them believe that it's you. Then, you can watch from a distance as they attack the object, leaving you safe. Get it?" From the nods, it seemed as though most of the class did get it, with only Sakura frowning and shaking her head.

 **Because your performance inspired an informative speech, and he appreciated you making less work for him, your reputation with Shikamaru gained +20.**

 **Because your performance inspired an informative speech, your reputation with Shino gained +20.**

 **Because your performance gave him inspiration to teach something, your reputation with Iruka gained +10.**

 **Due to listening to an informative speech, you gained 200 Exp for skill: Substitution.**

Unfortunately, Iruka's next words were ones that he hadn't wanted to hear. "Next, the Clone Jutsu." He let out an audible groan. He'd always sucked at this one.

 **Skill Unlocked! Clone Jutsu Lv 1 Exp: 0/100**

 ** _You remembered the Clone jutsu, but you can't use it effectively because of your high Chakra reserves._**

 ** _Not Enough WIS._**

"Naruto, you come up first." Sighing, he walked up to the front of the class and made the handsign. With a _poof_ of chakra smoke, a sickly, dead clone of himself appeared next to him. Iruka started to berate him, but he waved it off and walked to his seat. This was crap. "Next, Sasuke!"

 **Aaaand, done. Hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to review.**


	6. The Flames of Youth!

**Here's another chapter!**

 **Frankieu: You might be able to see the way he gets through in this chapter, but I don't know yet.**

 **Ddragon21: I added your character to the poll, and I agree that the Animagus transformation will be an interesting twist if I add it. I'll have to figure out how to work it in. Tora is a fantastic plot device in any story.**

 **TamayoNomura: Hey, I like your thinking for the clone jutsu, but to use it you need a certain ratio of WIS to Chakra, at least in my fic you do. Naruto has so much Chakra that his WIS would have to be in the 500's to be able to use clone jutsu.**

 **I Judicator: Oh, that makes way more sense. I like NaruxShino, but I prefer the ones where he grows up as Shino's best friend over the pairing itself. Shino is a really hard person to pair because of his personality.**

 **Greyelle: Yeah, Naruto can use most of Harry's old spells, except the ones with special requirements like Expecto Patronum or the like. Gred and Forge would probably have taught Harry loads more then they ended up doing if he hadn't been almost exclusively Ron and Hermione's friend. He still would have picked up a few tricks though.**

 **Akayuki: Yeah, most of the Gamer abilities are op in almost any gamer fic, but Naruto hasn't yet learned how to use it to its best capabilities, so it isn't as op yet.**

 **NinerFower.94: Yeah, the clone Jutsu doesn't really work like that. It isn't designed to be usable for beings with massive chakra, and Naruto needs a high base WIS to even attempt the jutsu correctly. I mean in the 500's high. Overloading it wouldn't be the same, because unlike Shadow clones it isn't about dividing chakra equally, it's about turning tiny amounts of chakra into clones with next to no chakra. I've already decided the teams, and Shikamaru probably won't be on the same team because of the popularity of the Ino-Shika-Cho formation. The clans are in alliance, and arrange beforehand to have their children on the same team to promote relations.**

 **Rose: Hey, sorry if I seemed as though I was making Hinata weak, but she is. Yes, she gains confidence and power in the presence of Naruto, but she relies too much on her idolisation of him. He is her pillar of strength, and therefore isn't as invested on maintaining her own strength as she should be. She has a crush on him because they had the same ideals of self-betterment and improvement, but she is so heavily invested in his improvement that she sometimes forgets her own. I'm not saying that she can't get stronger, but that she relies on Naruto being strong for her so that she has a requirement that she has to reach. Since Naruto was so weak in the beginning, I'm taking it that she improved herself to his level, and then stopped because she felt that she was as strong as her idol, and therefore couldn't get stronger until he did. It's like with Harry and Dudley. Vernon made Harry keep his work worse than Dudley's, and so Harry couldn't progress any higher because he was being monitored. Hinata is like that, except she puts the limit on herself. Sorry for the rant, but I prefer Hinata when she grows stronger on her own without encouragement from Naruto.**

 **Genuka: I haven't exactly calculated it yet, but it takes a lot of control. If Shikamaru wasn't halved chakra, he wouldn't be able to use it either. Nara have immense Yin chakra, but they can only use half of it. And people would defiantly kill to get his ability, which is why it's kept secret.**

 **And sorry about not putting different peoples' dialogue on different lines, I like writing like that but some don't like it, so I'll stop.**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J. . How you could mix me up with her is questionable, but I really can't take credit for her work. And I ain't Shonen Jump either.**

 ** _"_** ** _Expecto Potato" – Spells_**

 **"** **Bring me all the llamas" – Demon/Summoning Speech**

 _~Yo~ - Parseltounge_

Naruto dragged his feet as he followed his class out into the yard. He was the only one who couldn't get the Cloning jutsu right, and instead of laughing with him, he had been laughed at by Sasuke, Sakura, Ino and Choji. He knew that Choji at least hadn't meant any harm, but it still reminded him of his childhood at Privet Drive, and the isolation he had suffered in Konoha. Now they were sparing in Taijutsu, and he always got his ass handed to him because of his impatience. This time would be different though. He had mentally reviewed the fighting styles of each of the opponents that he was likely to face, and was ready to counter most of them.

Shikamaru was the type who aimed for the pressure points in order to get a quick win, so he would have to use force and not let any openings in his stance. Hinata used her clan's Gentle Fist technique to strike at the chakra system's tenketsu points, but she wasn't allowed to use her Byakugan, so he would try to evade while pounding on her defences in turn. Choji used his superior weight and strength to pound his opponents, so he'd have to stay out of his way and look for openings.

Shino used his Kikaichu for most of his fighting, and so he relied on the Academy-taught basic Taijutsu style that was ingrained into the heads of most of the civilian children. Ino and Sakura used it exclusively too, so he knew how to defeat them. The fighting style used little to nothing when it came to kicks and leg-blocks, and knocking a user of it off their feet was easy. Kiba used a modified version of it with his nin-dog friend, taking the hound hostage would make him surrender. Sasuke was the one he had to be worried about, he used a different style that was used by his clan before they were killed off. The Uchiha Interceptor was designed to be easy to block with while getting into the enemy's defences. Sasuke was the one that he really didn't know how to counter.

His own fighting style was basically just attacking with blows that were effective against his current enemy, and he had made it up when Iruka had mentioned using a unique style so that they couldn't be defeated easily by people who could pick apart the common Taijutsu style. He had been simply running at his enemies and punching at first, but now he was able to think past that to determine ways to use Taijutsu to get an edge, adding an unpredictable nature to his form.

 **Skill Unlocked! Taijutsu, Basic Academy Style Lv 2 Exp: 10/200**

 ** _You have done some training in the Academy's signature style of fighting, but haven't learnt it well._**

 **Skill Unlocked! Taijutsu, Potter Style Lv 2 Exp: 80/200**

 ** _Inventing your own way of combat, you express fluidity and unpredictability to their fullest extent in your Taijutsu. It's far from perfect though._**

He sat down on the grass around the fighting ring and got ready to watch the fights. It was nearing the end of the school day, with numerous history classes having followed the jutsu tests, and whoever fought was free to go home for the rest of the day. If he was lucky, he'd be able to fight first, and would be able to get more training done with the Jonin that the Hokage had picked for him. "Choji and Hibachi, step forward!" Naruto watched as Choji and a civilian bully from Mizuki's homeroom class walked into the circle. "Begin!" The civilian boy immediately started using tactics like taunting Choji and calling him fat, which elected a quick response of anger from the slightly plump boy, Choji charging into Hibachi and knocking him straight out of the ring. "Winner, Choji Akimichi! Alright, now make the reconciliation seal."

The instructor, not Iruka or Mizuki, stood to the side of the boys as they grudgingly made the signs of forgiveness and lack of ill will and shook hands, pulling away as soon as possible, the civilian boy stalking off back home while Choji sat down next to Shikamaru, pulling a bag of chips from seemingly nowhere. "Next, Naruto and Shino!" Naruto stood up and walked into the circle, facing the Aburame with a smile on his face. Further away, a Jonin and his team of Genin, two of them at least, looked on with interest. Naruto bowed his head at his classmate, who gave a slightly puzzled look before bowing back. "Begin!"

Naruto quickly slipped into a relaxed couch, receiving a few intrigued looks from students and Jonin alike. His opponent quickly ran at him, causing him to wait for a moment, before spinning on the spot as if for apparition with his leg outstretched, catching Shino's leg and tripping him. He followed with a swift chop to the neck before the other boy could get up, stopping it just as the hand touched skin, causing his fellow classmates to stare at him in shock and awe, some of them starting to whisper amongst themselves. The teacher also looked at him in shock, before declaring in an uncertain voice, "Winner, Naruto Uzumaki?"

 **Because your spar showed that you are getting much better and you could be a worthy teammate, your reputation with Shino gained +20.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are getting much better and you could be a worthy teammate, your reputation with Shikamaru gained +20.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are getting much better and you could be a worthy teammate, your reputation with Choji gained +20.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are getting much better and you could be a worthy teammate, your reputation with Sasuke gained +20.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are getting even stronger and you are even more of an inspiration, your reputation with Hinata gained +10.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are getting much better and you could be a worthy teammate, your reputation with Kiba gained +20.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are full of Youthful determination and you could be a worthy opponent, your reputation with Rock Lee gained +10.** ** _You are now Friends from afar._**

 **Because your spar showed that you are full of Youthful determination and you could be a worthy student, your reputation with Maito Gai gained +10.** ** _You are now a Youthful acquaintance._**

 **Due to the quick but intense spar, your STR increases by 1**

Noticing the unknown reputation changes but putting them out of his mind, Naruto changed his hand's position from a chop to a helping hand, assisting the Aburame boy back to his feet. "Sorry about that Shino, you ok?"

The quiet boy stared at him for a moment, before nodding back with a faint smile barely visible above the neck of his overcoat. "It was unexpected that you won. Why? Because you have always been hasty and temperamental. It is welcomed though. Why? Because it means that you are getting better, and as you are a potential Genin team-mate, it is expected that one's teammates are equal to or better than your current skill level."

Naruto looked at him for a moment, and gave a quiet laugh. "You know, you could just say well done." The Aburame's face tinged with a very slight shade of pink before he lowered his face and held out his hand in the reconciliation seal. Taking the boys hand, Naruto shook, and began to walk off in the direction of the training grounds where he was sure that the Jonin the Hokage had picked would be, ignoring the stares and glare that were aimed at his back.

Reaching the training ground nearest to the Academy, he stopped and looked around, only seeing a man in a green jumpsuit and orange legwarmers and three Genin, one of them wearing the same kind of jumpsuit that the man was. Preparing to move on, he sighed as the group of four started to jog over to him. Obviously fashion choice wasn't one of the requirements the Hokage had in mind when he hired a tutor. Not that he could talk, he'd worn a ridiculous orange jumpsuit for ages. As the Jonin came up to him, he wasn't at all prepared for the man to pick him up bodily and burst into tears. "Oh dear boy, we were watching your youthful display of cheerful contest between friends, and your technique and chivalry moved us to tears! It was a most moving display of dignity and YOUTH!"

Then another voice chimed in, bright, cheerful and full of youthful energy. "Gai-sensei! I must endeavour to be more like this youthful young student! To make my fire of youth burn brighter, I will make two-hundred circuits around the village, on my hands!" Naruto sweatdropped, and struggled to get free from the insane man's grip as they started a chorus of 'Youth'.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Will both of you quit acting like idiots and let him go before you kill him!" Naruto turned his head to look at the sane part of the group, a girl with her hair in buns who had just spoken up for him, and a male Hyuga with long black hair. Releasing Naruto, the Jonin rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Ah, I am so sorry. I forget myself sometimes. This is Team Gai, and I am the Jonin leader, the wonderful Maito Gai, the Sublime Green Beast of Konoha. These are my wonderfully cute Genin, Tenten, Neji, and Rock Lee! We have been assigned to tutor you in ninja skills so that you can pass your Genin exam. Is that everything?" The man struck a comical good guy pose, thumb up and teeth sparkling brigher than those of Gilderoy Lockhart.

The Hyuga, Neji, snorted. "If you were destined to pass, you wouldn't need our help. The fact that you think you need the help if a Jonin means that there is no possible way for you to succeed. It is all fate."

Naruto whirled around to face him. "I didn't ask for your help because I'm not confident, I'm asking for help because my Academy teacher sabotaged me!"

Silence fell over the group, the light-hearted energy of the green duo dissipating, and Tenten's calmer cheer wilting too. "Young man, that is a very serious claim. Why do you think anyone would do such a thing?"

Naruto looked at Gai with a serious look. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Certainly you can figure it out." The three Genin watched as Gai's face darkened.

The man grabbed a wooden pole from a stack nearby and snapped it like a twig in his hand. "So, there are still people who hate you for that eh? It figures, even after all this time, people still seem to hold on to their hatred. SO! We will do our very best to make sure that you succeed in your endeavour, and we will keep your flames of youth burning bright and hot!"

"Yes sensei!"

Three of them looked at the man in confusion at the total mood swing, with Lee writing furiously in a notebook. Tenten then spoke up. "Well, you said that your main concern was shurikenjutsu, right? I've done loads of training in weapons of all types, so I could help you in that aspect."

Lee stopped his furious writing to nod at Naruto with exuberance that was liable to make his head fall off. "YOSH! I will help you train so hard that you will not even need Ninjutsu! I have never used it to begin with, so you will not need to either!"

Naruto frowned at that. He didn't need Jutsu? But that was one of the main reasons he hadn't been passed when he took the practice tests earlier in the year. "I have too much chakra to do the Clone Jutsu, so does that mean that I don't need to be able to use it? I'm good with the others, just the clone is a problem."

Gai frowned again. "Well, Jutsu is only one little part of the test. If you pass the rest, you should be able to pass just fine. As I always say, hard work overcomes any obstacle! And if you wish, I can get my eternal rival to teach you a different cloning technique as a graduation gift if you pass."

The three members of Team Gai turned to face Neji, who huffed. "If people work against you, it is a sign that Fate is working against you also. You can never overcome your fate, no matter how hard you try."

When the green duo started ranting in Neji's face about his un-youthfulness and attitude, Tenten grabbed Naruto's hand and pulled him away to the target range. "Sorry about them, they really are hard to tolerate on your first meeting, or at all, but they mean well and want to help. Except Neji, he's just an ass. So, let's start with kunai and work our way to shuriken, ok?" Naruto just shook his head.

"It's no big deal, I've met weirder." As Tenten gave him an incredulous look, he cast his thoughts back to Hogwarts. To the twins, always pulling pranks and talking in turn, one of which was lying dead in a stretcher. To Hagrid, the friendly old oaf who was too kind for his own good, nearly getting himself killed to save a half-brother who beat him up on regular occasions. To Luna, the lovely girl who saw things that others couldn't and always seemed to know what was happening before she was told. All of his friends were suffering in another world. At least they had Neville, he was as deeply marked by Voldemort as Harry had been, becoming timid and frightened because of what happened to his parents. That is, that was before Gryffindor drew him out of his shell. He was another candidate to be the boy who lived, and the only Horcrux left was Nagini, so his friends may stand a chance after all.

"Naruto?"

He was shook out of his thoughts by Tenten, who had dragged him all the way to the targets and was looking at him with concern. She was much stronger than she looked. "I'm fine, just remembering some stuff." She gave him another look, before drawing a small scroll out of her pouch and channelling chakra into it, causing several kunai to appear. Noticing his interest, she laughed.

"It's a summoning scroll. It keeps things in suspended animation until you need them. If you want, I can help you make some tomorrow. Today, let's just focus on the kunai." She picked up the kunai and put all but one of them away in her pouch with the scroll. "First off, you hold it like this if you want to throw it. Holding it any other way gives you cramps after too many and they aren't as accurate. When you aim, make sure to factor in the wind and other elements that may skew your angle. You need to…"

 **Kunai Skill now at Level 6**

 **Shuriken Skill now at Level 4**

 **Naruto is now at Level 10, 32 Skill points to be distributed**

 **Because your training showed that you are full of Youthful determination and you could be a worthy opponent, your reputation with Rock Lee gained +30.**

 **Because your spar showed that you are full of determination to improve and you gave her a welcome alternative to training with Gai, your reputation with Tenten gained +20.** ** _You are now Friends._**

 **Because your spar showed that you are full of Youthful determination and you could be a worthy pupil, your reputation with Maito Gai gained +20.**

 **Due to training until you dropped, then training even harder, your STA increases by 4**

 **From intensive training in reflexes and aim, your SPD increases by 7**

Naruto laid on his back panting lightly. Tenten had been a rough teacher, making him keep throwing kunai and shuriken for hours until he could hit the bulls eye every second time, and then had started throwing them at him until he was able to catch them without cutting himself. He was tired, and had plenty of cuts on his hands that were already healing. Kurama was laughing at him from the recesses of his mind, and Gai was looking at him as if he'd found another Lee. "Erm, sorry. I'm so used to Gai-sensei's ridiculous training that I sorta took some pointers when it came to you. But at least you're really good at it now, yeah?"

Raising a weary hand, he waved away her apologies and replied, using the one part of his body that didn't feel as though it was going to give way. "Its fine, I asked for it I suppose."

Gai beamed widely at him. "You are a very youthful young man Naruto. I would offer you one of my specialized bodysuits that are made so that they breathe, are durable, and always fit, but I have none on me." Not seeing Naruto and Tenten's frightened glances, he continued. "I can however give you these!" With this he pulled out of nowhere a set of four orange arm and legwarmers. "These legwarmers are perfect for carrying weights of all different sizes. These each have a 2 kilogram weight designed to improve speed, strength and endurance. Once you are able to move easily in them, I can give you new weights for each one! You can even build yourself up to such immense weights that the heavy metal will pack an extra punch in your strong kicks and punches. These are the perfect training device for anyone!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. Those might actually be of some use, unlike a tacky jumpsuit. Not many would expect someone to be packing a heavy weight inside a legwarmer. "Alright, I'll give them a try, but you'll have to let me rest a little bit."

Gai's smile widened so much that his teeth looked like a mirror. "You will? Of course you will! These weights will build up your strength like nothing else." With that, and a groan from Tenten, Gai let the weights drop onto the ground next to Naruto. "It's time for my afternoon training regimen, so Neji, Tenten, meet me at our usual training ground." Without waiting for an answer, he bolted off, letting the Genin trail behind him at a more comfortable speed.

Hearing someone coming into the training yard, Naruto raised himself onto his elbows just in time to see Lee coming back from the punishment that he'd inflicted upon himself. "Wait for me sensei!" Sighing, Naruto laid back for a few more moments to regain his strength. What a day. And there were more to follow. Finally alone, he brought up the boxes that he had been ignoring during training and frowned at the skill point message. He brought up his profile, and was surprised at the changes.

 **Name: Naruto Potter-Uzumaki**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 10 EXP: 560/1000**

 **Health: 4970/4970 (+100 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 8130/8130 (+500 per 5 min regen)**

 **Magic: 520/520 (+ 100 per 1 min regen)**

 **Skill Points: 32**

 **STR: 6 (80) +/-**

 **STA: 81 (80) +/-**

 **SPD: 50 (20) +/-**

 **INT: 52 (0) +/-**

 **WIS: 33 (0) +/-**

 **CHA: 13 (0) +/-**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **5 (0) +/-**

 **Titles:**

 **Demon Brat: -40% Reputation gain with Konoha, -10% Reputation gain with Konoha Shinobi**

 **Perks:**

 **You're a Wizard! – You were a wizard in a previous life, and have retained your magic. Added – Magic.**

 **Jinchuriki of the Nine-tails – You are the container for the Nine-tailed fox spirit, Kurama. You are on good terms with him, increasing the advantages he gives you: + 80 STA, + 80 STR, +2500 Base Health, +6000 Base Chakra, slight access to his chakra, -10% Reputation gain with Konoha.**

 **Uzumaki – You are the last of the main line of the Uzumaki clan, giving you all of your clan's abilities: +50% STA gain, +50% INT gain, +100% ? gain, +50% ? gain, ?**

 **Potter – You are your father's son, even in another body. Your wand knows that at least: +20 SPD, +50% Magic skills gain, +100% Flying skill gain.**

 **"** **Brat, use the buttons to make yourself stronger."** Following his tenant's advice about the +/- buttons, he pushed the + for STR, and grinned at the changing of his strength level from 6 to 7. Pressing the – button, it changed back. Quickly getting the idea, he started to distribute the rest of his points. **"Make sure you make yourself lucky, it's saved your life more than a few times."**

 **Name: Naruto Potter-Uzumaki**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Enhanced Human (Shinobi)**

 **Level: 10 EXP: 560/1000**

 **Health: 4970/4970 (+100 per 5 min regen)**

 **Chakra: 8130/8130 (+500 per 5 min regen)**

 **Magic: 520/520 (+ 100 per 1 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 23 (50)**

 **STA: 81 (50)**

 **SPD: 50 (20)**

 **INT: 52 (0)**

 **WIS: 36 (0)**

 **CHA: 15 (0)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **15 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **Demon Brat: -40% Reputation gain with Konoha, -10% Reputation gain with Konoha Shinobi**

 **Perks:**

 **You're a Wizard! – You were a wizard in a previous life, and have retained your magic. Added – Magic.**

 **Jinchuriki of the Nine-tails – You are the container for the Nine-tailed fox spirit, Kurama. You are on good terms with him, increasing the advantages he gives you: + 80 STA, + 80 STR, +2500 Base Health, +6000 Base Chakra, slight access to his chakra, -10% Reputation gain with Konoha.**

 **Uzumaki – You are the last of the main line of the Uzumaki clan, giving you all of your clan's abilities: +50% STA gain, +50% INT gain, +100% ? gain, +50% ? gain, ?**

 **Potter – You are your father's son, even in another body. Your wand knows that at least: +20 SPD, +50% Magic skills gain, +100% Flying skill gain.**

Done with his stats, Naruto closed everything and sat himself up, picking up the weights and getting a feel for them. They weren't too heavy, just enough that they would be a strain when walking. Strapping them on, he got up, mindful of the added weight, and started walking back to his apartment. He noticed that he got quite a few stares as he walked back, which he attributed to the legwarmers.

Getting an idea, he rushed back to his apartment and grabbed what remained of the allowance money that the Hokage had given him almost a month ago. It wasn't much, but it would do. Sighing to himself, he made a handsign and performed one of his least favourite jutsu. A _poof_ of chakra smoke concealed him before there was a beautiful 16 year-old girl in his apartment. She was wearing a black shirt and a pair of denim jeans. She had her blond hair up in two pig-tails, and was wearing small orange arm and legwarmers, and had bright blue eyes. Grabbing a bag to put her shopping in, Naruko sighed. At least she'd been able to make some proper clothes.

 ** _In the mind of Naruto/Naruko:_**

Inside of a giant metal cage, a giant fox laid passed out in a pool of blood. A little stream of it dribbled out of its nose, and it had a dopey looking smile on its face. Pervert.

-cookiekitty—

The villagers were a lot nicer when she was a girl, Naruko had noticed. She was able to get plenty of ingredients for their normal prices, and some of the younger vendors had even given her a discount. She hadn't dared to go into any stores run by ninja though, as they would probably see through the modified henge instantly. Opening her apartment, she put her bag on the kitchen table and released the jutsu. Naruto appeared out of the cloud of smoke, already gathering up ingredients that he needed in order to make a decent meal of sausages and vegetables. He put all of the food together before started going through the motions.

Cut the carrots, boil them and the rest of the vegetables in a pot, make sure the sausages didn't burn in the frying pan. An hour later, it was getting dark and the meal was ready. Plating it up, he prepared himself for the first meal that he'd ever made for himself and dug in. He had to stop himself from moaning. _This_ was what he had been making for the Dursleys? God, this was as good as the House elf cooking from Hogwarts! Then he stopped. Wait, could he? "Kreacher?"

…

…

…

 _Crack._

 **Hey everyone! Special thanks for my new Beta, Onikiba/Chozo! I hope you enjoyed, and see you next time.**


	7. Abracadabra with the Magic man

**Hey. I got lost on the road of life, and I had to help an old woman with her groceries, but I'm here now. Yep.**

 **Plums: Naruto didn't tell the Hokage because he was taking a lot in at the time, and he'll be training really heavily with team Gai, so he won't remember until he gets a reminder.**

 **Horcrux for Tom: Well, he might find out what happened, but Dimension Hopping takes a lot of energy. Kreacher is pretty old. Just hope he's up to it.**

 **Riddle-Snape (SlytherinShipping!): Yeah, Kurama's a big perv, but he's also a fox spirit. Fox spirits are renowned for turning into seductive females to get what they want, so the nosebleeds won't last as long as I want them to. Sorry for not updating fast enough. :-C**

 **Manaliac: Because Dobby is dead. If you haven't read the chapter at Shell Cottage, sorry for the spoilers, but Dobby died. Kreacher is nicer now too, so he's more of a choice.**

 **Night with Moon: Sorry, but this is how I like responding. If you don't want to see responses then just skip it. I'll PM you from now on though if that's what you want.**

 **Genuka: Yeah, but dimensions are hard to navigate. He only managed to get to Naruto verse because of the bond between Master and Servant. We'll just have to see.**

 **Star Iron: I told you guys, I don't yet know where the story is going. If there is ever Slash, I'll put it in the Summary as soon as it appears. For now, there's just the story.**

 **Akayuki Novak: Yeah, Kreacher never died, he was actually really resilient for an old elf. And Naruto's STR is really low because he never trained, ever. He only pranked, and there's no Stealth skill (yet). And even in Cannon Naruto can out-run even the toughest Jonin before the training trip. He's a Stamina tank, that's just about it. Tenten's training would have killed anyone else, Naruto was just a little tired. Kurama gives him an added boost that he never had before too, as they bonded right away. Physical and Mental energies are what govern Chakra. His Stamina is part of what makes his such a chakra tank, because he has very high Yang energy. Likewise, Shikamaru has loads of Yin energy from his intellect, so he's more powerful than he shows too.**

 **Ursinethemadbear: Well, I don't see your point. I never said harry or Naruto were gay, just that their sexuality is questionable. Hell, Harry's first kiss was an absolute disaster, and he jumped in with Ginny mainly because she wanted it. Besides, changing a character a bit doesn't make him OC. Those submissive!Harry stories with loads of slash are still Harry, not some stranger. He's a Potter. He has a scar. He was Voldemort's enemy. He has Kreacher. He is/was Harry Potter, and if you can't deal with an eleven year old who used to be 17 or something being a bit curious about his sexuality, why are you eve reading fanfiction? Sorry, but if you can't handle that little change, how do you read almost every HP fic on the site with Harry changed in one way or another? Rant over.**

 **PrinceLarkin: Yeah, Iruka didn't comfort Naruto, but he didn't exactly get a chance. Besides, the whole class knew what was going to happen, Naruto's always been horrible at that one. And yeah, the system is fucked up, but they probably don't want civilians that don't get through knowing techniques that they could screw up and hurt themselves with. The E- class jutsu are mostly fine, but tree-climbing would be a lot more dangerous without the constitution of a ninja.**

 **Rose: Hey. Well, the crush thing was basically about the fact that she's at a disadvantage when it comes to this person, and the shy thing should have been a part of her profile. She'll change by the time Naruto next looks at her stats though. And Hinata will still be under Kurenai, but Naruto won't be that interested in Genjutsu, because it isn't the style of either him or Harry. And it is mentioned it the books that harry has been disciplined for being smarter then Dudley. The Dursleys were certain that it was his magic, because he couldn't actually be smarter than their Diddy Dumpkins, could he?**

 **Guest: Well, I've heard of 'The Gamer', but I've never actually seen or read it. Instead, I was inspired by others that have based works on it. Most of the Gamer mechanics in my fic are made up by me, I'm not using any other sources. If anyone has any input on Gamer mechanics then feel free to PM me.**

 **Silvermane1: That's an interesting idea. I might use something of the sort, but I already have a summon in mind. Actually, send in some ideas for summoning contracts, you guys often have the best material and ideas.**

 **Lilnudger82: Well, Ino isn't supposed to learn any clan techniques before she graduates, but she accompanies Inoichi to the less graphic part of the T &I Department where he works, and she would have nagged him to teach her the main technique for interrogation because it looked easy, and that's the kind of jutsu that Ino likes in the beginning.**

 **Kuroka: Well, I didn't really want to make him the annoying tool that is Naruto as a kid, and Harry is a little bit too much like Sasuke at times, so I blend the personalities and try to find what works. I'm glad you like it. And yeah, Naruto won't have to take much shit from anyone in the beginning, because he'll be semi-OP. The enemy will catch up though. Or will they? I really don't know yet, but he's probably going to keep getting new powers because of everything that he has yet to learn. Regarding Inu/Kakashi and the state of Naruto's life, there isn't much that he can do about it because the council are constantly trying to control Naruto for the fox. If word got out that Naruto's lifestyle was less than perfect, the civilians would just take the chance to inflict more pain and suffering on Naruto. Helping Naruto has to be done behind the scenes, and the Hokage can't really interfere much.**

 **SadStrangeFangirl: Well, it was really up in the air for a bit, and I really wanted to do Yu-gi-oh or Pokémon, but Naruto is the series that I'm currently watching at the moment, so the creative juices were biased. Don't worry that I'm not up to date on everything though, I'm a fair way through Shippuden and I googled the rest. I don't mind spoiling it for me if I can make it right. I was thinking of doing a Naruto based on the pilot chapter, but the current one is more developed, so that's what I did.**

 **R.D.T: well, you probably won't be reading this, but your attitude to the fact that I don't know whether or not I'll put slash in is dreadful. I've mentioned several times that romance won't be certain, but you just up and left. Geez, these people are so hard to please.**

 **EliaEnoa: yeah, I wanted to bundle it up, but the characters each had different reactions and relationship changes and I wanted to show that. I'll try to bundle them where I can.**

 **Amusebeard: Hi. You're shitty too. You don't seem to have taken into account that Harry isn't Harry. He's Harry with bits of Naruto mixed in, and honestly, have you ever seen a decent crossover where he's portrayed exactly like he is in the books and movies? If you have, send a link. Also, I'm not necessarily bashing Sasuke and Sakura. Sasuke is honestly an emo jerk who hates everyone in the beginning, and Sakura actually has a split personality. Inner Sakura doesn't seem to make too many appearances later on, but she's the one who bashes up Naruto and Sai all the time. Inner Sakura has anger management issues in spades, and the mysterious man who types the messages to Naruto has a right to be concerned about her. And when you say that the characters are mockeries of themselves, hardly any of them have actually gotten any time to say anything. Most of it is just the Mystery man's comments and Naruto's presumptions about them. And Harry's essence in the Naruto world is going to change things to begin with, it's the Butterfly effect. (Yay Until Dawn) Besides, this is two crackers and a porcupine short of a humour fic for now, so they probably won't be in full character until the serious stuff comes out.**

 **Movielover8210: Well, thank you for the comment, but I already have a pairing in mind if there is a relationship. I'll definitely keep Shikamaru in mind, but he is hard to write in a romantic light. And the humour is a bit hard to keep up, but I love making up different scenarios with funny outcomes, and I love that people appreciate it.**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J. . How you could mix me up with her is questionable, but I really can't take credit for her work. And I ain't Shonen Jump either.**

 ** _"_** ** _Expecto Potato" – Spells_**

 **"** **Bring me all the llamas" – Demon/Summoning Speech**

 _~Yo~ - Parseltounge_

Naruto frowned as he dabbed Kreacher's forehead with a damp cloth. The elderly elf had made his way to the apartment with the _crack_ of apparition, but had collapsed and was now in a feverish state. It appeared as though the poor elf had exerted most of his magic trying to get here, and now he had little to no energy left, and was getting sick. Making up a bed out of towels and spare blankets, he laid the servant down in a nest-like bed similar to Kreacher's boiler room closet. Activating his _'Observe'_ ability, he ignored the statement that he'd levelled the ability up to level 2 and focused on Kreacher.

 **Name: Kreacher**

 **Gender: Male**

 **Race: Pygmy Elf (House Elf)**

 **Level: 12 EXP: 790/1200**

 **Health: 55/300 (+5 per 5 min regen)**

 **Magic: 2420/2420 (+10 per 1 min regen)**

 **Skill Points:**

 **STR: 16 (0)**

 **STA: 40 (0)**

 **SPD: 63 (0)**

 **INT: 121 (0)**

 **WIS: 132 (100)**

 **CHA: 2 (-2)**

 **LUK** ** _:_** **1 (0)**

 **Titles:**

 **None**

 **Perks:**

 **House Elf – A member of the servant race that are cousins to the brownies, House elves have a weak body but immense magical reserves and control: Min Health 300, Double Base Magic +100 WIS, -50% STR gain, -50% STA gain.**

 **Crabby Old Bastard – He hates almost everyone: -50% Rep gain, 0 base CHA.**

 **Slave Bond – As a House elf, he needs to have a bond with someone in order to fulfil his need to receive orders: High Loyalty and Rep towards master.**

 **Status:**

 **Void Sickness – Kreacher travelled through the void in order to be by his master's side. He is ill, but will recover: Instant Effects: -250 Health. Lasting Effects: 7 day healing coma. 7 days remaining.**

 **Description: Kreacher is a remnant of your past that managed to somehow find you after your rebirth. His dedication to you runs very deep due to your help with carrying out the final wish of his last favourite master, and he would sacrifice himself on your behalf. He is stuck with you now, but he won't mind in the slightest. Don't know about you though.**

Well, that was certainly enlightening. At least he'd be fine, but it would take a while for the elf to wake up. Flicking out his wand, Harry cast a secrecy ward around Kreacher and made sure that the elf wouldn't be uncomfortable. Sighing, he realised that his meal had gone cold, and his microwave didn't work. Walking back to the kitchen and scraping the wasted meal into the bin, he made his way back to his bed and felt Kreacher's forehead again before readying himself for sleep.

-Iheardanoise—

Waking up to the blaring of his alarm, Naruto went through the motions of getting ready for the academy. Kreacher only had a day left of his coma, and today it was time for the Genin exams. After the spar with Shino, Iruka had stuck to making sure all of his pupils knew everything that was on the written portion, as well as assessing skills like mathematics, history and science. Naruto could see the point, but not all of them would become medical ninja or work with weapons that needed detailed knowledge on how the body worked.

Mathematics was good for finding angles and ratios while throwing kunai and setting traps, but only intense thinkers like Shikamaru would be able to pull it off in battle. The rest wouldn't have time to stop and evaluate. And learning about ancient people like Hashirama Senju or Madara Uchiha wasn't really necessary for the life of a shinobi. Still, his repressed inner Ravenclaw absorbed all of the knowledge that he was given. Voldemort had gotten one thing right, knowledge was power. He would never know whether or not he would need this stuff, so he had better learn it just in case.

Filling a bowl with cereal that he bought as Naruko, Naruto sighed and looked at Kreacher. The poor thing was thin as a twig, and needed to eat. Grabbing his wand out of thin air with only a momentary pause of time, he cast a spell that would send some of the cereal in the bowl directly into the elf's stomach. It was commonly used to get comatose patients to ingest potions, but for now, food would have to do. It wasn't as if he had been able to get lessons from Madam Pomfrey in magical healing.

Finishing the rest of the bowl, he grabbed his ninja pouch and attached it to the back of his new outfit, the seals sown into every mainstream pouch keeping it in place. Tenten had taught him about seals during his third day of training, and he had been surprised that his Uzumaki blood gave him a predisposition towards the stuff. At least he was able to make his own explosive tags now. A girl buying ninja tools would have been suspicious, but ink and paper were obviously going to be used for artwork, so that wasn't suspicious in the least.

He now had a good thirty paper bombs in his pouch as well as a storage seal inked onto the inside of both of his black sandals so that he had an excuse for his inventory, and he was working on making some variations on the explosive tag, maybe ones that sent Iryo chakra through one's body instead of making an explosion. Those seemed to be a lot harder though, because he had to convert the chakra that was being stored into a healing jutsu, and he had way too much chakra for that. He had started wearing robes similar to the ones that he had created in his mindscape, leaving out the orange and dulling the red and gold with some green so that they would be fit for combat. He had baggy pants on underneath along with a mesh armour under-suit that he borrowed off of Tenten. He had a pure black hood as well, and he put an obscuring charm on it to hide his face when it was up.

Sighing, he adjusted the weights that he had recently gotten. Gai had moved him from a 2 kilogram weight on each limb to an 8 over the course of the training, and he could feel that he was getting stronger. Lee had taken it upon himself to make sure that Naruto's speed and reflexes were up to par as well, and the green blur was starting to become distinct as Naruto became used to watching and interpreting at high speeds. Tenten had been running him through her weapons in order to find one that he could use comfortably, but there didn't seem to be a weapon that was as comfortable as his wand. She had given up on two-handed weapons and had been running him through lighter one-handed weapons in order to find him something to make his signature weapon. Neji was still sulking, but there wasn't much to learn from an arrogant Hyuga who thought that they could get by with family techniques alone.

The last week of training had prepared him for this, and if he couldn't get it right now, then there was no hope for him. **"Kid, if you don't stop your thinking and start running, you'll be late again. Get off your ass!"** Kurama's shout jolted him back to reality, and he blinked at the familiar quest.

 **'** **New Quest: Get to School!'**

 **Get to school on time to stop Iruka-Sensei from getting bored!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 30 min.**

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get to the academy in under 20 min.**

 **-Get to the academy in under 10 min. *Failed***

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 2 Skill points**

Gah, he'd already failed the 10 minute bonus? Cursing, Naruto bolted out the door for what he hoped was his last day in the Academy.

-llamasliketoeatcasseroleandbeefjerky—

Iruka sat on a chair that he'd set up outside the Academy entrance, eating an apple that he'd picked from the swing-tree. Naruto had started trying to get to school as fast as he could lately, and it was often quite funny to see him run in at full sprint with a panicked look on his face. Hearing a crash from town, he smirked, and closed his eyes, counting to ten in his head. When he got to five he heard a cough and opened them to reveal Naruto standing there as if he hadn't just been running full pelt to get here. "Well Naruto, finally going to be on time to an exam? You know that Mizuki hates it when you're late." Iruka took another bite of his apple, perfectly aware that it only made him look like even more of an arsehole.

"It's not like I haven't been improving Iruka. You said it yourself, I'm focusing more and I haven't run off to do a stupid prank for over a week. Besides, this time I'm dedicated on beating Sakura at the very least. And quit smirking, it's not as if I won't come around to annoy you after I'm a Genin, I'll still put aside a day or two for Annoying Iruka Until he Screams and Faints Day. I'm pretty sure it'll catch and spread like wildfire amongst my classmates. Maybe I can get Shino to put pheromone producing bugs in all of your clothes, or I'll get that crazy Jonin with purple hair to put you in a Genjutsu where everyone looks like giant cockroaches. Or maybe…"

Naruto walked in to class, ignoring the ashen white face of his teacher in favour of accepting the bonus award to the quest and grinning at the pranks Kurama was coming up with to counter his own. Iruka shuddered. Ever since Naruto had discovered his inner deviousness, the proposed pranks had gotten less infantile and more frightening. The proposals that the boy was coming up with were becoming embarrassing and something to be avoided, and if they were turned on him, he might not withstand the pressure.

Sighing, he waited a few more minutes before walking inside to ready the exams. Naruto's antics, while scarier than before, would have to be ignored until after the Genin exam, and then he'd be in the care of a Jonin. That is, if he passed.

-Desmondthemoonbear—

"Attention class! In 5 minutes, you will take the written portion of the exam. You will be given one hour to complete it. Then, you will be sent one at a time to perform your Taijutsu test with one of the teachers. Third, the Shurikenjutsu exam. The final exam is a test on a randomly selected E-rank jutsu. This time, it's on the Clone Jutsu." Naruto groaned. Of course the jutsu would be one that he couldn't do. He'd just have to try to get as good marks as possible on the other exams. A box popped up, surprising him.

 **'** **New Quest: Become a Genin!'**

 **Pass the Genin exam and become a full-fledged ninja!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Pass three of the four exams**

 **-?**

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get full marks on the written portion.**

 **-Get full marks in Taijutsu.**

 **-Get full marks in Shurikenjutsu**

 **-Get full marks in the Clone Jutsu.**

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 5 Skill points**

 **\- Konoha ninja headband**

 **\- Advanced Cloning technique**

 **Failure Consequence:**

 **\- Don't become a ninja**

 **\- Another year of Academy**

 **\- -1000 Reputation with Konoha**

Jeez, those were some nasty failure criteria. "Alright, your time starts when you are given your test. Begin!"

Grabbing his test from Iruka, Naruto frowned at the questions. _'1. Name the five chakra natures. 2. Who was the Fourth Hokage?'_ This was ridiculous. Most of these questions were things that he could answer in his sleep, and anyone who didn't know them would have no chance at being a shinobi. **"They probably dumbed it down to give the civilian children a chance to pass. Just get through it and get it over with."** Nodding, Naruto started answering the questions, nudging Shikamaru in the side to stop him from falling asleep. There was a tired sigh to his left, but the lazy genius picked up his pencil and started jotting down answers.

-flyingrabbitsfromWitchyproof—

"Alright, everyone hand up your papers" There was a collective sigh as the class did as they were told, Ino bursting into tears and Hinata handing hers in with a flushed red face and a downcast expression. Kiba was still looking at his paper with a puzzled expression while Akamaru was holding his paws over his eyes, and Mizuki was struggling to retrieve Shikamaru's paper from where it sat under the sleeping boy's head. "Well now, one by one you'll be asked to come outside to demonstrate your Taijutsu with Mizuki, then to show us your skill with kunai and shuriken. First, we'll have Kiba." Kiba sprang up with an exited look on his face, and Akamaru nearly fell off the boy's head. "After that, we'll have Choji, Ino, Shino, Sasuke, Hinata, Sakura, Shikamaru and then Naruto. Please wait your turn patiently."

The class groaned, and resigned themselves for a long wait.

…

…

…

"Choji!"

The chubby boy started to walk up to the front, with Kiba rocketing in with an ecstatic look on his face. "Dude, that was easy! I can't believe that I was nervous about this. You'll be great Choji"

Choji gave an uneasy smile. "Thanks, I'll need it." With that, the boy that reminded Naruto of Neville Longbottom walked out of the classroom a bit surer. Naruto drowned out Kiba's happy babbling and waited.

…

…

…

"Ino, your turn." Ino pouted as she dragged her feet to the front, pushing Choji away as he walked back to the group with a quiet smile. Shikamaru dragged his head up to look at his friend.

"So Choji, how did you go?"

Choji flushed. "Well, I was ok with the Taijutsu, Mizuki told me that he toned it down to how he used to fight as a Genin, so I wasn't really at a disadvantage. My shuriken need a lot of work though." Shikamaru nodded slowly, but Naruto could see that the boy's eyes were keenly moving left and right, probably figuring out a strategy to beat the teacher. Naruto settled back, mulling possible strategies over in his head.

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Shikamaru? ...Shikamaru! Get up and do the exam!" The whole class could tell that Iruka was getting aggravated at the slow passage of time, and it showed.

"Mah mah, I'm up already. Don't get your panties in a knot." The class giggled as the lazy boy made his way past a fuming Iruka to the training ground, and Naruto grinned. A week ago, Shikamaru would never have bothered with a retort like that. It seemed as if the Marauder spirit was rubbing off onto his classmates. Next, it was his turn, and he began to go through simulations of the fight in his mind.

…

…

…

"Naruto, you're the last one. Head on out." Naruto gave a salute and jumped up, waving to Shikamaru as he vaulted over the desks and landed on his feet in front of Iruka, making the instructor's eyebrow tic and the girl in front shriek. He quickly ran out of the classroom and into the yard to take the exam.

Getting outside, he saw Mizuki standing in the sparring ring and the female teacher with large hair and glasses over by the Shurikenjutsu posts. Sighing, he walked over to Mizuki and stood opposite him in the ring. He watched as Mizuki's grin became a glare momentarily before switching to a fake smile that would take an idiot not to see through. "Hey Naruto, this is your Taijutsu exam, and get ready, because you're going to have to beat me at full strength."

Naruto frowned at that, but got into his fighting stance anyway. Mizuki was supposed to pretend that he was a Genin and use only a portion of his strength, so it must be the grudge Mizuki had against him that made the instructor change the test. "And go!" Before Naruto could even try to observe him, Mizuki thrust himself at Naruto, throwing punches and kicks. Naruto tried to weave away, but a punch landed on his shoulder, knocking him off balance. As he laid in the dirt, Mizuki walked over and started kicking Naruto's chest. Wincing at the pain Naruto noticed that Mizuki had relaxed his blocks, and in a split second, thrust his weighted wrist into the man's crotch. The Chunin instructor's face went white, clutching at his groin and whimpering. Feeling a bit of spite towards the man, he walked around and kicked the man in the ass, pushing him out of the circle.

"Am I done?" Mizuki only whimpered, and Naruto walked over to the third teacher to start his next test. She looked at him with a sneer, and turned up her nose at him as she spoke.

"Alright Uzumaki, to pass this test, just throw ten shuriken and kunai at the corresponding targets and get at least five hits with each. Do you think you can manage that?" He frowned, she was frowning at him, but he knew he could do this. He'd been training with a weapon mistress with the training methods of Gai for the last week. If he failed this, he was hopeless.

Grabbing four of the shuriken from their tray, he flicked them one at a time at the target, getting them all in at least the middle ring. He repeated, shocking the instructor as he managed to get all of them on the target. Then he walked over to the kunai, and grabbed one for each hand and threw them carefully. By the time he was done, the targets were littered with weapons, and the teacher was looking at him with an appraising look in her eye. "I'd heard that you were a hopeless brat. I guess they were mistaken. Congratulations kid, you pass." Naruto grinned, and walked back to the classroom. He was met with a roaring fight between Kiba and Choji. It seemed as though Akamaru had stolen one of the boy's many bags of chips, and now Choji was getting angry. So was Iruka.

"You two! Be quiet or I'll fail you right now!" That shut them up, the two boys breaking away from each other to sit on either sides of the room. Iruka turned to Naruto. "Well, now that all of you have done your physical tests, I'll get together your results with the other teachers, and you can demonstrate your cloning technique. Will you walk through the door in about 10 minutes in the same order as last time? Thank you everyone." With that, he left. Kiba walked over to wait by the door, and Naruto thought to Kurama to wake him up when it was his turn before falling asleep.

-whatshouldiputhere?-

Naruto was woken by a light rumbling in his mind to see that the rest of the class was wearing headbands, and he got himself up, thanking the demon as Shikamaru came back in with a headband in his hand. Getting up, he clapped Shikamaru on the shoulder and walked into the adjoining exam room. He was met with Iruka and Mizuki sitting at a panel next to a table full of headbands, obviously for the classes of Mizuki and the other teacher should they pass. "All right Naruto, time to show us you're Clone."

Naruto grimaced before making the handsign, smoke erupting from him and a spot next to him as he tried to summon a clone without the required chakra control ratio. The smoke cleared to show a pale white clone that looked as though it was dead sprawled across the floor. Iruka's eyebrow twitched. "YOU FAIL!"

Mizuki was preparing to say something consoling to rile up Iruka further when a low growl escaped Naruto. **"What** did you say?" The two instructors tensed as the boy's eyes bled red and gained slits, the whiskers on his cheeks lifting off of his face to become real whiskers instead of strange marks, and his nails turning into claws. Mizuki moved to throw a kunai, but Iruka stopped his hand.

"Naruto! You failed because you didn't complete the necessary amount of exams, and that's that." Naruto's growls stopped, as did Kurama's shouting in his ear as they both registered what was said. Mizuki gave a sly grin, and their hatred directed itself towards him instead of Iruka.

"What do you mean? The written test was easy, I aced the shuriken and kunai exam, and I kicked Mizuki's ass out of the Taijutsu ring. Why don't I pass?" Iruka's face went frigid as the Kyuubi holder listed what he'd done, and turned to glare at Mizuki, who was casting a guilty look at the man.

"Mizuki, you reported that Naruto failed your exam. What do you have to say for yourself?" Mizuki seemed to contemplate for a moment, before twisting into a disgusted scowl.

"Why should I let that demon pass? After all, it will only turn on us and destroy the village again. It's better to put it out of its misery. After all, no-one will ever miss the Kyuubi no Kitsune! In fact, I think I'll do us all a favour and kill it right now. DIE!" With that, Mizuki whipped out one of his giant shuriken from where it had been hidden under the table and threw it before Iruka could even react to the betrayal.

Unfortunately, for Mizuki that is, Mizuki wasn't anticipating the boy he had tried to fail to have magic. Holding out his hand to make it seem as though the spells were coming from his body instead of the wand barely poking out of the wrist weight he was wearing, he defended himself with the first thing that came to mind. **_"Diffindo!"_** Both Iruka and Mizuki were shocked when the giant weapon collided with a thin arc of purple and split in half, both sides of it landing at either side of the unharmed boy. **_"Petrificus Tolalus", "Incarcerus"_** With more flashes of light, Mizuki was paralysed and trapped in a cocoon of thick ropes before he could blink, and Iruka was left to stare at Naruto with an incredulous look as the boy put his hands behind his head and gave a nervous grin. "Well, he was attacking me. Should we call Jiji? Oh, and am I a Genin?"

Iruka sighed. It was just one of those days. Grabbing one of the headbands, he tossed it to the boy and gestured for him to leave. Naruto just grinned. Looking at Mizuki, he watched the man's eyes move franticly, seemingly the only thing that he could move. "You idiot, now I have to take you to the T&I Department for questioning, especially since you broke the secret law and attacked a student. You know Ibiki hates being interrupted. And by the way, Naruto is **not** a demon." Ignoring the man's frantic eye gestures, Iruka proceeded to drag the Chunin Instructor by his foot through the door and outside to the village, the whispers and stares from the students who had passed unheeded.

-Puddingisessential—

Shikamaru pulled himself straight and stared as his main teacher came out of the examination room Naruto had just left, dragging Mizuki in tow frozen and bound. Whatever had happened to cause that? Looking at Naruto, he saw the idiot sitting in the tree staring into thin air, without a ca…Wait, how come Naruto got to kick back and relax when he was all worked up with this mystery? Slouching over to the tree, he gave it a sharp kick and grinned when Naruto came falling down. Opening up his eyes, Naruto came face to face with a curious Shikamaru, with Kiba walking over in interest too. Naruto made a swiping motion, before complaining. "Urgh, what do you want Shika? I was thinking and you ruined my concentration."

Raising a brow at the thought of Naruto ever thinking about anything other than ramen and pranks, he put Naruto's new personality aside in favour of questioning the boy. "You had something to do with Mizuki being tied up. That's because there was too little an amount of time between you exiting and Iruka dragging Mizuki out for them to have had an altercation between themselves. You also paralysed him, because Iruka never uses poison and you are the only one in our homeroom with an unknown skill base, meaning the paralytic agent probably came from you. Furthermore, you were in there twice as long as anyone else, meaning that something happened to delay the exam. Also, you became a Genin, but your clone jutsu is abysmal, so that means you passed all of the other exams. But Mizuki was taunting Iruka about the fact that you hadn't passed Taijutsu when I left, so that means that either you got the clone right for once, or Mizuki was lying. Probably the later seeing that Mizuki has a grudge against you for some unknown reason. So Mizuki would have gotten into trouble for that. But there wouldn't have been any reason or you to tie him up unless he attacked you or started a fight in some way. So that's what must have happened. Well, am I right? Being wrong is such a drag."

Naruto blinked. Then he started sniggering. He was bordering full on laughter when he tried to choke out a reply. "Gee Shika, they don't call you smart for nothing. Yeah, I got attacked by Mizuki the Dickturd after I pointed out that I wiped the floor with him in Taijutsu, but you got one thing wrong. He isn't just paralysed, I somehow managed to give him rigor mortis. He's completely frozen in place and can only move his eyes. I don't use poison. Sorry."

Shikamaru huffed, but one eye was slit in lazy interest. "Well, whatever it was, it was effective. Alright, so now what? Are you going to go prank someone or can we go home without getting splattered in paint?"

Naruto only gave a cheeky grin. "Nah, I've got to go see Gai-sensei about learning a new clone jutsu that I can use instead of the normal one. But I'll make sure to find something to make you happy Shikamaru. Maybe I'll replace all of your pillows with roosters, or hide alarm clocks all over the Nara compound. Wait! I have the perfect idea." Shikamaru groaned. Naruto's pranks were getting more and more inventive, and now he was something to be feared rather than just an annoyance. Worse was the fact that he could seemingly slip in an out of a heavily fortified compound without detection, as was evident when he slipped contact lenses of varying shades onto the eyes of all the Hyuga, making it seem as though they had lost their Byakugan in favour of normal eyes. The whole clan had ran around headless until Hinata had activated her eyes and discovered that they were being tricked. There was no way to prove that Naruto had done it, but everyone in the village knew that the boy was the only person who could pull off pranks of that level. Naruto even had a small fanbase of young boys who wanted him to teach them, but they could never seem to catch him.

"Naruto, please leave me out of any of your troublesome pranks."

"No promises. Well, see ya!" And with that, Naruto ran off, leaving a less than satisfied Nara and an utterly confused Inuzuka.

"Wait, what did all of that mean?"

"Arf Arf"

"What do you mean I'm an idiot! Shut up Akamaru!"

Sigh. How troublesome.

 **Hey! Sorry for being a bit slow, but Chozo was being scatterbrained and I wanted to wait until she responded to keep writing. She need to turn her brain on sometimes.**

 ** _*Turns to glare at her, but is turned to mush at the cuteness of her puppy-eyes*_**

 **Chozowarrior: Sorry everybody! I am a bad dog! I've been very lazy and have not been a consistent beta! I'll try better in the future! (I have been writing my own stuff on Wattpad too though…)**

 ** _*Recovers*_** **Yeah, well, she needs to not be distracted by the slightest thing to obscure her vision.**

 **Bai! ()()(0_0)()()**


	8. Enter Mrs Dango

**Hey guys, kudos for all of you who review consistently and keep giving me great ideas. I sincerely apologise for taking so long to update, but I'm about to start exams soon, and I've been neglecting you guys as a consequence! (Nooo!) I appreciate everyone who waited for me, you guys rock. Gah, because of my semi-absence, I have to read through all the reviews and work out which I haven't seen yet. My life is so hard, but you guys help! (I'm talking to the constructive feed backers and positive reviewers, not those who fan my Youthful flame. They just make me feel annoyed and competitive.) Thanks for making life more interesting guys!**

 **Plums: Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but loads of people reviewed, and I wanted to answer all of the questions that I could without spoilers. I don't really want to rely on PM's because of the awesome guest viewers out there, and there are some questions that everyone wants an answer to, not just the one who asked it. I did try to put a fair amount of content to balance out the responses though.**

 **Riddle-Snape: Yeah, I loved the idea of Naruto being able to sneak past the Byakugan, and the clan relies heavily on it, so they'd hate to lose it. The Nara are in for a sorry time too. Mizuki is indeed an idiot, even in canon, but Iruka won't really know what to think. There are some jutsu that are really flashy, and the ropes could have been sealed away, because he has been learning Fuinjutsu. And still, there is still one spell that, while morally questionable, will remove all suspicion on Naruto.**

 **Genuka: Yeah, the site was being an ass, but it's over now, so let's just enjoy the fanfics. I do hate that Naruto was so un-inventive as a prankster, so I try to make interesting scenarios that Naruto can use the skills of the Marauders to the fullest extent. Mizuki deserves more than a kick to the balls though, and I'm sure Ibiki and Anko agree with me.**

 **Akayuki Novak: Yeah, It makes way more sense when you actually think about it, and it's all canon too. Mizuki will be interrogated, so it's safe to assume that people will find out about what happened. It's all up to how Naruto reacts, isn't it? And magic is an impossibility to the people here, so they won't turn to that first thing. But they do have an explanation for the unusual. And yes, Genin!**

 **ThomasNealy: Thanks. I did mention that Naruto was learning a new clone jutsu, but that's spoilers if I divulge too much. Summons are a different matter, because he won't encounter them for a while anyway. Dragon, snake, wolf and fox summons are very common, so if I do one of them it'll have to be good and unusual. I saw a great spider summoning idea, but that was the wrong type of summon for my Naruto. Toads won't be necessary, as Naruto has proven that the seal can be broken, and besides, Gamatora isn't the only one with the key. The seal is built off of willpower after all. Multiple summons is a bad idea in my opinion, because the summons would have to work together, and Manda has proven that summons don't often like other clans of summoning animals. I do have an idea, but I want to keep it a secret for now. Let's hope that I can do it well.**

 **Jeffery: Hey! Thanks for the compliment, it means a lot. I have to admit though, I have had my share of mistakes and idiotic ideas with fanfics in the past. Anyway, Mizuki in canon was really weak in the beginning, and he only got better after being imprisoned. An Omake is coming down below, but it isn't exactly on Harry's parents. It sort of is, but not really. And I'm guessing Merodeos means Marauders. The Engrish is strong in this one, lol. Moldy-shorts' demise will be covered eventually, but it won't be very important to the plot. I didn't really lose my muse, it just got side-tracked and tried to jump off Mount Myoboku, but I caught it and I'm holding it captive with the power of determination. And thank you again, I appreciate it.**

 **PrinceLarkin: Well, House Elves aren't really going to die if they don't have a master. They aren't really dependant on wizards, but like brownies, they have a subliminal need to clean and take care of people. Like said by the canon wizards, the bond is completely mutual, but it is permanent until the elf is freed. In Dobby's case, he probably thought Lucius was a good man before he made the bond, and was taken advantage of. Think of it like the testing 'itch' from Portal. Robots like GLaDOS can ignore and control themselves, but Wheatley was weak, and became dependant on the testing euphoria, and felt as though he needed to constantly quench the itch. That's sort of like Winky, who became a wreck after being released.**

 **Luna-tic4590: Well, you'll just have to wait and see, won't you? Sorry, but I don't want do give away any really important spoilers. It will come up soon though.**

 **Black Sun: Hah, thanks. I'm guessing you're talking about the characters in the fic as a whole rather than just the last chapter. I tried to re-create the personalities as much as possible, Sasuke is easy, just mix brooding and an emo and you have him. Shikamaru is more complex, with the laziness hiding his vast intellect. Gai is interesting, and after writing him I get urges to shout about youth to the world. But I'm looking forward to fleshing out the characters a bit more, and I'm glad that you like what I've done so far.**

 **BBWulf: It's not Yaoi yet, I haven't decided.**

 **Horcrux for Tommy Lad: Yeah, I'm not exactly nice to Mizuki. At all. He's the reason for the trigger warnings. And the Hyuga prank will have to be saved for an Omake, it won't fit into the story as it stands.**

 **Have a Little Feith: Whatever you're into, that's fine, but I think I should explain the difference between that and Naruto. Naruto doesn't hate the jutsu because he turns into a girl, he hates it because of it's original purpose. This Naruto isn't a perv in the sense that he willingly uses a jutsu to make men blush by making himself into a naked female. He hasn't got a problem with being a girl.**

 **Twisted Pxl: Yeah, I am interested in doing that too, but if I do that it won't be for a while. I just prefer it this way because in the Naruto verse there are loads of powerful enemies, whereas in HP, there's only Mouldyshorts, maybe Bellatrix too. Besides, Naruto doesn't die in Cannon, and Harry does. That's the main reason I'm using Harry Potter. That, and he's awesome when he's not being a self-sacrificing idiot.**

 **Akabane Kazawhat?: Hey, thanks for reviewing. I thought that no-one would guess the cameos, although that's probably because no-one cared about reviewing about it. Yugioh and Fullmetal were two of the three that I was honestly considering, excluding Naruto, but I'm sorry that I haven't read or watched HunterxHunter, so I'll have to do loads of research if that gets picked. And I won't explain it again, so everyone else should read the previous review responses, but it isn't Slash. I haven't decided pairings, and if I do choose slash, i'll tell you. But he's only a kid right now, even if he's 17 or something in terms of mental age. When the plot develops to the point that I can pair him, I'll tell you, k people?**

 **Summary: When a life ends, they expect to move on to the next great adventure, right? Well, maybe Dumbledore was right for once, Harry may not get a do-over, but this time, he'll get the story right. And die trying.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm not J. . How you could mix me up with her is questionable, but I really can't take credit for her work. And I ain't Shonen (Shouen?) Jump either.**

 ** _"_** ** _Petrificus Tomato" – Spells_**

 **"** **Bring me all the llamas" – Demon/Summoning Speech**

 _~All your mice belong to us~ - Parseltounge_

 **WARNING: Ibiki and Anko. That means Torture and possible trigger warnings if you didn't know.**

Naruto sighed as he stopped and sat in a tree overlooking the training grounds that was used by Gai often. Shikamaru had interrupted him while he'd been trying to look at his rewards, and it was a little annoying to have to read through everything again just to see the rewards.

 **'** **Quest Complete: Become a Genin!'**

 **Pass the Genin exam and become a full-fledged ninja!**

 **Objectives:**

 **-Pass three of the four exams *Complete***

 **-Stop Mizuki from failing you *Complete***

 **Bonus Objectives:**

 **-Get full marks on the written portion. *Complete***

 **-Get full marks in Taijutsu. *Failed***

 **-Get full marks in Shurikenjutsu *Complete***

 **-Get full marks in the Clone Jutsu. *Failed***

 **Rewards:**

 **\- 5 Skill points**

 **\- Konoha ninja headband *Already Obtained***

 **\- Advanced Cloning technique *To be Obtained***

 **Bonus Rewards:**

 **\- Jonin level Konoha Bingo Book**

 **\- Chakra Paper**

 **\- Basic Genin Weapon set**

 **\- 1 Perk Point**

Wait, all that for passing the Shurikenjutsu and written exams? Reaching into his Inventory, he grabbed the Bingo Book and exited, immediately opening it to see the image of a missing-nin from Iwa. Quickly flipping through, he saw the pictures of missing-nin and ninja that were still in service from each village, all of them with bounties and a description sheet displaying their abilities. Frowning, he noted that some of the ninja with the highest bounties were missing-nin such as Orochimaru or Itachi Uchiha, who had caused large scale damage to the village's before leaving. Flipping to the back, he noted a map of the land of fire that displayed the various bounty collector sites, places where the corpses of ninja with a bounty could be redeemed for money. Kurama spoke up. **"Kid, keep this safe. This is an easy way to make cash, and from the state of the apartment, you need it."**

'Yeah, I know fuzz ball. I'm not the stupid idiot I was a month ago." Ignoring the echoing growl that rang through his mind, he stored the book away in his inventory as he heard the noticeable arrival of Gai, the green-clad man shouting at the top of his lungs and proclaiming youth to the village. Jumping down, he took in Gai's brighter than usual smile at the sight of his headband, and prepared himself for a hug that would probably break his pelvis. "Naruto! It seems that your youth has prevailed and you are now a ninja! I am so moved by this that I will not stop showing my absolute pride in you for a week! Why it is so uplifting, I might cry!"

Naruto squirmed uncomfortably in the large man's arms. "Well Gai-sensei, if you do that, you'll miss out on training, and that would dishearten Lee. Maybe you should just calm down."

Gai seemed to burst into tears, not that Naruto could see with his head being pushed into the Jonin's chest. "You are right Naruto-kun! I must not let my other students down, but I must keep on expressing my pride in my students! Maybe I should run laps around the village with you sitting on my head?"

Naruto franticly pushed himself out of Gai's grip. "No Gai-sensei! That would really be too strange, and I really don't want you to do it. How about you get that Jonin to teach me a clone jutsu though? You said before that you would get a friend of yours to teach me a jutsu, right?"

Gai's horrible memory finally brought up the promise, and he realised that the only decent clone jutsu he could have Naruto taught without knowing the boy's affinity was the one that Kakashi used. It was supposedly useful for training intensively. "Why Naruto, I had almost forgotten! I must get my Eternal rival! He will know the perfect jutsu, and together, we will show off our powerful flames of youth!"

Not having a clue what the man meant, Naruto gave in, letting Gai pull him across the village in order to find the supposed rival. Naruto really felt sorry for the man.

 **-The Darkness Begins. Warning.-**

Mizuki's eyes watered in tears at the sound of Tsubaki's screams. The damn bastard in front of him was grinning at the sound of the agony the woman he loved was most likely going through. The scarred man leaned in further. "You know Mizuki, all you have to do is admit your reasons for attacking the fox-boy and trying to fail him. Then we can let you go. You won't have to listen to your dear fiancée's screaming any longer."

Mizuki spat at the man, leaving saliva to drip off of Ibiki's exposed scalp. "I tried to kill him because he's the bloody demon that destroyed the village! He didn't deserve to live, so I took it upon myself to deal with him. There, are you happy?"

Ibiki's eyes narrowed. "Normally, that would be enough, but I'm not letting you go yet. Besides, you announced the S-Rank secret to the boy, and even though he already knew, it's still high treason. They're going to execute you anyway, so I'll be sure to get every drop of information out of you. Besides, your girlfriend said something **very** interesting about a very special traitor. You know Orochimaru personally, and we're going to find out everything he told you."

Mizuki thrashed against his shackles, and refused to open his mouth. As much as he loved Tsubaki, he wouldn't give up anything about Orochimaru. The thrashing stopped as Ibiki got up and walked over to the giant sealing scroll in the corner. Unrolling a few feet, Ibiki placed his hand on one of the symbols and drew out a large scalpel that looked as though it had come straight from the medical division. As Ibiki made his way back at a slow pace, Mizuki started thrashing again, and he started cursing Ibiki with his foul mouth.

"Temper temper." Mizuki stilled again, this time quivering in fear. Ibiki was renowned for being brutal and violent, and that calm look wasn't right. That was the look of someone who could kill and do the most disgusting things imaginable without batting an eye, and it was terrifying. Yanking his leg out of the man's grip, he was rewarded with a fist to the face, rendering him dizzy. "Now now, don't make it worse for yourself. I'm only going to be performing a little surgery."

During the next hour, there was nothing but screaming and cheerful humming emanating from torture chamber #3, and the interns who walked past shuddered at the thought of what was happening. No-one knew what Ibiki did during his sessions, but that was something that was better left unknown.

!-!-!-CHEESE-!-!-!

Ibiki stopped the act as he stood up, admiring the blood-stained room. Mizuki was lying unconscious against the wall, his body stinking of copper, salt, and the distinct odour of urine. Ibiki hadn't had to hold back, so Mizuki was currently little more than a disgusting living art piece. His legs had been skinned cleanly, and the skin was hung up to be used for something else later. The muscle on the legs was missing in clean even chunks, and the blood slowly trickling out of the wounds was being stemmed by expert cauterization from a fire jutsu. Mizuki's left arm was mangled by acid, and his right was impaled with large spikes that left the limb looking like a pincushion, the fingernails pulled out too. His cheeks had a large jagged tear carved into them reaching from lip to eye, and his nose had been cut off. One of his eyes had been plucked out of its socket, and the socket was filled with salt to increase the already unbearable pain. The man's intestines had also been pulled out of his body via small slits in his torso, and the organs had somehow been tied in a bow around Mizuki's neck while still intact, finishing off the macabre scene. The entire floor was coated in thick blood, and the only reason Mizuki was still alive was due to copious amounts of blood pills and medical jutsu. "Wow, nice work."

He turned at the sound of a voice coming from the room's door, and scowled at the voice of his fellow torture specialist. While good at her job, she was a pain outside of the torture chamber. "Shit, you really did a number on him. What did this poor sob do, try to kill the Hokage? Oh and thanks for the extra skin. I've been wanting a new dango bag."

-No more Torture for a while-

Ibiki turned away from his companion to stare at Mizuki again. "Anko. He was working with Orochimaru, to steal the scroll of seals, and he nearly killed the fox-brat."

Anko's almost permanent grin turned into a scowl of rage. "This idiot is Orochimaru's spy? Well he'd better be glad you got him, because I would've done much worse. Tell me everything, and I'll inform the Hokage."

Ibiki sighed. She would get her personal snake summons to bite him if he refused, and they used an annoying venom that gave people hallucinations. "It seems he met Orochimaru on the mission where his injured comrade died mysteriously. He was kept from being a Jonin because of suspicion, which it turns out was correct. He was given a tattoo that works like a rudimentary version of the cursed seal when combined with a potion, and he's been sending information to the snake ever since. He was also responsible for the abduction of several children that have been reported missing. He was until recently an instructor at the academy, but was brought in under some strange jutsu when he attacked the Kyuubi vessel out of spite when his attempt to fail the kid was discovered. The kid made some strange flashes of light that split his weapon in two and bound him in ropes, along with locking him in some strange version of rigor mortis that only un-did itself when I disrupted his chakra. He couldn't do it himself, so it must have taken control of his chakra away from him too. He also broke the S-rank secret of not speaking about the fox, but the kid seemed to already know. No matter what happens, he's on death row, so I went full out on him. His fiancée is next-door, and she was an accomplice, but didn't commit any other crimes. All she did was try to keep this guy safe, so she can go. She'll probably get community service since she wouldn't do it for anyone but him, and he's going to die, so it won't happen again. That's about it"

Anko's glare turned into a dutiful stare that let no emotion escape. "Got it. On my way." With that, she stalked out of the room, and there was a distinct sound of a window breaking. Ibiki groaned. There was a whole folder dedicated to Anko's window expenses, and while other eccentric ninja at least opened the window before entering or exiting, Anko made it a game to smash through as many windows as she could when entering or leaving a building. Even in her anger, she couldn't resist it. Well, at least it was better than reading porn in front of the Hokage, that was for sure. Then again, the old man was just as perverted as the man who read the damn books in public.

At the main gate, a masked ninja sneezed suddenly, before blanching at the sight of a man in a green running amok. Bracing himself, he gave a passing wave to Kotetsu and Izumo before running over to stop the man from destroying the entire village in his enthusiasm.

-[REDACTED]-

Naruto sighed as he was pulled around yet another corner. His sensei was getting more and more determined to find he mysterious person, and he'd already passed the Academy three times already. As they got close to the main gate, he felt Gai speed up again, only to be pulled into the air as Gai leapt at a man who had been walking down the road. "Dynamic! Entry!"

The unknown male quickly grabbed Gai's foot and put the two people down carefully. "Gai. What a surprise. I didn't think that I'd have to stop you from causing chaos so early after getting back. You need to stop using that entrance move when people have already noticed you by the way. As spontaneous as it is, it only really works when someone is distracted or they have no idea that you're there. Now, what is it that you wanted?"

Gai's face lifted into an even brighter smile that left a staring civilian momentarily blinded. "Kakashi! Oh my, what fortune is this to find my eternal rival returning from a mission? Oh, joy is me! It must have been due to my passionate Flames of Youth! It must be a…Ouch." Gai's monologue was ended pre-emptively by a quick elbow to the ribs from Naruto, causing Gai to rub his chest lightly with the hand that had until recently been dragging the new Genin through the air. Kakashi's visible eye crinkled into an upside-down U shape, somehow conveying a smile despite the mask obscuring the man's mouth. Gai's memory kicked in, and the excitable man finally reigned his thoughts in. "Right. Kakashi, I'd like to introduce my temporary student, Naruto Uzumaki!"

Kakashi's posture seemed to freeze as he opened his eye to look at the boy who had seen him loose composure while on ANBU duty. He was dressed strangely, wearing multi-coloured robes that were subdued enough to be worn during a stealth mission, yet still loose enough to be a hazard if any hooked weapons became involved. It was obviously handmade, since no-one else in Konoha would have made a piece of clothing so out of style, but it was almost seamless, and he couldn't believe that a young child could be so adept with a needle and thread. The rest of the outfit was in black, with a slip of orange peeking out from under the long sleeves of the robe proving that the kid hadn't managed to escape being influenced by the green giant entirely. The kid had a tired expression, probably from being pulled over the city. "So, you've been teaching little Naruto here? He must be strong to… uh… withstand your 'Youthfulness'"

Gai grinned, seemingly unaware of the fat that Kakashi hadn't been talking about the man's strength or stamina. "Well, I promised little Naruto here a new clone jutsu, but I have realised that I don't know that special one that can be used without knowing chakra nature like you do. So, can you please teach him everything that I can't in my stead?"

Gai looked as if he was about to cry, and Kakashi leant back and held his hands in front of him. "Hey, wait a se…"

"Great! I'll see you tomorrow Naruto! Keep training with the mighty power of Youth!"

With that, Gai pushed Naruto into Kakashi's outstretched hands before running off in a sprint, leaving the two ninja to stare at the retreating green figure. Kakashi sighed, before rubbing his hair with one hand. "Well, I might as well. Come to training area number 32 in about 15 minutes, ok?" With a nod from Naruto, the silver haired ninja put his hands together in a hand sign and disappeared in a Shunshin.

Naruto sighed. The village was just full of these… _Unique_ characters. At least he knew Inu, or rather, Kakashi. He didn't think he would be able to forgive Gai if he'd been shunted off to a person he'd never met before. A deep rumbling groan echoed through his mind, and he gave a small smile at Kurama's misfortune. **"Kid… never let that happen again! At least put some handles or something in here so I'm not sent banging 'round the seal like a hamster. That fucking hurt."** Sending an apologetic stream of thought to the giant fox, and smoothing the ruffled edges of his robes, he turned on the spot and started walking to the mentioned training grounds, intent on making some changes to his hidden mind world.

-thepriest'smotherisablanket-

Hiruzen Sarutobi watched the sun shine low in the sky as he mulled over what Anko had told him. He hadn't heard anything about Orochimaru in over a year, the thought that he had sleeper agents embedded that deep into their village was a disturbing thought. Hearing a knocking on his door, he turned back to his desk and picked up his pipe, taking a puff before walking to the door. He opened it to see the Instructor in charge of a third of the graduating students, including Naruto. "Ah, Iruka. Coming to check the placements of Genin are you? How are you doing?"

Iruka blushed, he'd been caught out before he even said anything. "I'm alright Lord Hokage. Have the children been assigned?"

Hiruzen took the time to have another puff of smoke before exhaling it in Iruka's face, reminiscent of a habit of his son's. "No, not yet. I was about to go to the assigning now, would you like to join me? The input of one of their teachers would be greatly appreciated."

Struggling not to cough and possibly insult the Hokage's choice of relaxant, Iruka held his breath for a moment before the smoke cleared. "I would be glad to assist you Lord Hokage."

Hiruzen nodded, gesturing with his hand for the instructor to follow as he made his way down the hallway and to the Jonin mission hall in silence. His secretary tried to get his attention as he passed her, but he shushed her and continued walking forwards. The two eventually came to a small door that when opened, revealed a hidden auditorium that was filled with Jonin of all different skill sets and power levels. Renowned village powerhouses like Maito Gai and Asuma Sarutobi were scattered around the room, alongside people such as Kurenai Yuhi and Anko Miterashi, the Kunoichi duo who both struck fear into the hearts of men, although for different reasons and with different techniques. Even Kakashi Hatake, the copy-ninja who was renowned for being late to anything non- life threatening was here on time, leaning against the wall at the back with his nose stuck in one of his dirty porn books.

Feeling slightly nervous, Iruka stood to the side as the Hokage stood up front and clapped his hands together, instantly getting the attention of every Jonin in the room. "Well now. I think we all know why we're here, so I'll skip the introductions and ask the prospective Jonin sensei to stand forward."

Straight away, Kurenai and Asuma stepped forward, as expected. Asuma's last team had recently become Chunin, and they felt that they had no need for prolonged contact with their former teacher, leaving him behind in their vanity. Kurenai however had recently finished dealing with her failure on the issue of addressing her previous student's problems, and had declared that she wanted to try teaching a full team. Ebisu was also quick to step forward, being an elite trainer it was expected of him to want to teach a Genin team of his own. Two ninja from the medical core walked ahead, getting a few whispers, and the faces of two Akimichi and an Inuzuka raised a few eyebrows, but were left alone. An older member of the Hyuga walked forward after a short time, and that seemed to be it until there was a sigh coming from the back of the room, the crowd parting in shock as Kakashi walked forward with his porn held limply in his hand.

Even Gai seemed shocked, although that was to be expected, Gai was so bad at remembering things that there were few things that didn't surprise him. Still, there hadn't been word about his retirement from ANBU as of yet, so it was to be expected that no-one had been expecting the man to volunteer. Ebisu in particular didn't take it well. "Why are you up here Hatake? You're an ANBU, the children would die after less than a minute if we let you have a team. Also, you have your missions! You can't drag fresh Genin out on S-ranked missions! Lord Hokage, you must see reason!"

There was baited breath in the room as the Hokage shook his head. "Then it's probably a good thing that Kakashi _isn't_ an ANBU anymore, isn't it Ebisu?"

Shocked murmurs broke out, with many Jonin craning their necks to stare at the man whose only reaction was to give a small smile, despite only one eye and no mouth being visible. Ebisu withered, the man looking pathetic amongst the strong ninja in the room. Iruka chose that moment to step in. "If I may Lord Hokage, shouldn't we select which students make up the teams first?"

Hiruzen sighed. "Yes yes, all right. Who were the top male and female, and the bottom last? It's customary to put them together so that the one lagging behind can learn from the advanced students."

Iruka sighed. He'd probably make some of the Jonin angry with the report. "On top for the male students is Sasuke Uchiha." There were approving murmurs, so he continued. "Sakura Haruno was the top female student, although only by a narrow margin." There was a bit of tension in the clan ninja, but there was nothing stopping him, so he finished. "And Hinata Hyuga came last, probably due to nerves, she has a real problem in self-confidence."

There was a derivative snort from the Hyuga standing out the front. "The Lady Hinata is too soft. She is weak and has too much compassion. Her younger sister should be the heir."

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes at the man. "Well, we certainly know who _won't_ be leading her squad, won't we?" The man had the sense to look chastised, and the Hokage turned back to Iruka again. "Well Iruka. I would much appreciate your input on who to team up with whom, if you don't mind."

Iruka sighed. He could only help so much. "Well, I'll mostly be able to only judge my own class, but I think that the child from Mizuki's class called Sai would better be placed with someone who isn't easily aggravated, and he shows signs of being trained even though he's an orphan." A few of the Jonin who were also ANBU stiffened, and Hiruzen made sure to keep a note of them. "Now, for my class, placing either Sakura Haruno or Ino Yamanaka with Sasuke Uchiha is a bad idea. They act like regular civilian girls, and need to get over their respective crushes on him. Choji Akimichi is rather gentle when he wants to be, and me works best with his friend Shikamaru. Kiba Inuzuka."

There was muffled laughter from the Inuzuka who had stepped forward, and a number of others as well. "Is I was saying, Kiba is a physical learner, so he would need a hands on teacher. He used to not work well with Sasuke or Naruto, although the problem he had with the latter has almost disappeared overnight. Shino Aburame…" Iruka sighed, and many of the Jonin nodded in sympathy, excluding the Aburame themselves. "He is very isolated from the rest of the group, but his type of thinking would help him to get along with Shikamaru if they were paired together. Now, Naruto…" Iruka grimaced as he heard several snide remarks and comments, which were quickly snuffed out by the iron glare of the Hokage. "Naruto is an unknown as of now. He's shown significant progress in almost every area this past week, and the only students he has a problem with are Sasuke, Sakura and Ino, one of which actually attacked him with a jutsu."

That made the crowd be silent. Academy students attacking each other with chakra wasn't a good sign, and even if Naruto housed the fox, being attacked would make a difference in his placement. One idiot near the back of the hall let out a cheer for the Uchiha, and Iruka corrected him swiftly before the Hokage could use his Katon jutsu. "Actually, it was the Yamanaka girl. She took it upon herself to invade his mind, and both were unconscious for the rest of the day because of it." The entire hall was silent. Most of those who knew Inoichi knew that his daughter was a spoilt child that was treated like a princess, so for a girl like that to attack another child using her family jutsu was unusual at best. A few of them resolved to keep away from the girl.

Iruka cleared his throat. "If I had to comprise three teams from my class, I would place Sasuke, Shino and Kiba on one team. Sakura and Naruto could possibly work together with Hinata, and Choji would be paired with Ino and Shikamaru, which so happens to be an InoShikaCho formation. That's all I have."

Hiruzen frowned. Those placements made one of the traditions of Konoha null and void, and it was an effective tradition. "Well, I have made my decision. The new team Seven, will be Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Hinata Hyuga. Who would like to train this team?" The reaction was instant. Ebisu, Kurenai, the Inuzuka and one of the medical core all stepped forward even further. Hiruzen frowned. He was putting two Dojutsu users on the same team, and that would need a lot of patience if they started fighting. Also, Sasuke would need training in Genjutsu if he wanted to use his eyes to his full potential. The Haruno girl was top of her gender too, so she might also be a good Genjutsu type. And there was the Hyuga girl. They were all born with innate chakra control, so "Kurenai Yuhi, do you accept this team?"

The other Jonin all made a face, but reluctantly moved back to the group of possible instructors. Kurenai smiled. "Of course Lord Hokage, I will do my best to bring them to their full potential."

Hiruzen smiled back. Kurenai was always a calming person to be around. "Next, the new InoShikaCho, Who will take them?" Not many this time, only Ebisu and his son, although Asuma was looking up at him with an upset expression. Hmn. Knowing Asuma, he would probably be well suited to train a gentle Akimichi and a Nara. He might even be able to control the Yamanaka girl. "Asuma, I assume you know what a chore it is to get a Nara to do anything?"

Asuma looked up as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing, and Hiruzen smiled. Yes, he wouldn't hold this from his son after doing so many wrongs. "Asuma Sarutobi, you are now the new InoShikaCho's team leader." Asuma bowed low and mumbled out a thanks, clearly stunned that his father wasn't making him jump through hoops to get what he wanted as usual.

For the next team, Hiruzen was uncertain. He could bring in a student from another class and mix it up, but there wouldn't be as much of a connection as there was between those who had spent years learning together. Shaking off his doubts, he announced the final team from the clan children class. "Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame and Naruto Uzumaki. Who will take that team?"

Silence. Not one person stepped forward. Iruka felt his heart lurch. Was Naruto going to be sent back to the academy because no-one wanted to teach him? And would Shino and Kiba be sent back too? They couldn't do this, could they? His panicking was interrupted by the shuffling of pages echoing through the silent hall. Kakashi looked up from the porn he'd started to read who knows when and looked around. When he saw no-one, all he said was, "Oh, does that mean I get to teach them?" Rows of heads snapped towards the ninja, and Iruka saw more than a few mouths drop in surprise. Hell, his was one of them. The only people who didn't seem shocked by the announcement were the Hokage and Gai, although, that was probably because Gai was already crying and shouting about Naruto having the most hip Jonin sensei in Konoha.

Hiruzen smiled. That was the reaction he'd been waiting for. "Alright, so. The other two classes will have to wait a few moments, or I'm afraid we'll have to listen to more spouting about 'youth'. Anyone care to help me escort him to a corner to calm down?"

As was expected, no-one ever wanted to help when Gai was part of the equation. No-one.

-Lemursareawesome—

Naruto sighed as he floated around his mind, dodging the lazy swings of Kurama's tails as the fox gave another growl of pleasure. He'd entered his mind and mixed up the brain with duplicates of his normal memories, before making his way into the hidden land that was his mindscape. Realising that he'd left Kurama floating in the air last time they'd talked, he'd extracted the cage out from the Chamber of Secrets and banished that part of his mind back under the castle. Taking inspiration from his 'roommate', he destroyed one side of the brain chamber and put a side of the seal's cage there, extending outwards into his real mind.

The mindscape was hidden from the sight of invaders by a shroud of darkness that was similar to the darkness that the Chamber had spread through the seal, so when invaders noticed the irregularity and went to investigate, they'd get a demon fox's welcome without having to reveal the mindscape. He'd also widened the space between the bars until Kurama could fit through them, and he'd thought up a loose chain for the fox to slip onto his paw if he ever wanted to leave the cage without leaving the seal, seeing as they didn't know whether leaving the seal would harm Naruto or not, it was a nice alternative. The big lazy fox was doing that now, laying on the great expanse of grass in front of the castle while dipping his paws into the Great Lake. Apparently Naruto's mental representation of the Giant Squid was a very good masseur.

Sighing, he looked into the water. While relaxing in a mental paradise was all well and good, he needed a way to see outside. Time was so fluid in the mental world that he never knew whether or not he'd missed anything in the waking world. Getting an idea, he imagined the water from the clouds condensing into an orb. Levitating the orb in front of his face, he had it flatten out into a liquid mirror. Willing it to see through his body's eyes, he watched the water ripple outwards into a dark view of Konoha, the sun having apparently set a while ago. Cursing, he realised he'd been stood up by Kakashi, and willed himself awake.

Groaning as he moved his stiff body, he got up and brushed the dust off of his robes before beginning to jog home, Kurama grumbling at his paw massage being interrupted.

-redliquorish-

Slamming the door of his apartment behind him, he locked it with a mumbled **_"Colloportus"_**. The door emitted an odd squelching sound before going silent. Muttering under his breath, he pulled off his robe and set it over the chair before making his way to his room. Laying down on his bed, he pulled the sheet over his head and closed his eyes, ignorant of the large bloodshot eyes peering at him out of the darkness.

 ** _Omake!_**

Minato sighed as he flashed himself three benches over to serve the next customer. Ever since he'd sacrificed himself to the Shinigami, he'd been stuck serving a near endless swarm of men with beards and red hair some alcohol called beer. Personally, he preferred sake, but this wasn't a Konoha bar, or a type of bar that he recognised from anywhere, so it wasn't available. He sighed as another two glasses came through the conveyor belts, and he used his Hiraishin to collect them. He'd just delivered the two glasses when the conveyer belts stopped, signifying the end of a 'day'. Getting an idea, he rapped his knuckles on the dividing wall and asked for a saucer of sake. The moving about and humming stopped, and another oriental voice replied in a cheery affirmative.

Chen Stormstout hummed cheerfully as he searched his many satchels for a bottle of rice wine. He hadn't made any in ages, the only people who would appreciate it and a good man other drinks in Azeroth being his kinsfolk, but to have an enjoyer of it here was a great surprise, and he was sure he still had a bottle. The Horde had been a great crowd, but he hadn't been able to appreciate one of his favourite alcohols with them, and having another to drink with in this strange job after death was good fortune. Finding the bottle, which was dwarfed by his massive hands, he pulled out two saucers and poured a good amount in each. He pushed the saucer through the flaps, and was greeted with a happy laugh. "To sake!"

 ** _Omake End_**

 **Hey guys! Another chapter! Wow! Seriously, thanks for sticking with me, I'm not very reliable and I update whenever I get a chapter done, not on a schedule. I hope you can all forgive me for the long wait, but I have some other fic ideas that I'm exploring in my alone time, so I may post them sometime. Also, my Beta has decided that she doesn't have time for Beta-ing right now, so sorry if there are any errors I missed. Tootles!**


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